


I Was Bored

by LadyMarss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/F, F/M, First Meetings, LGBTQ, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Pining, Texting, alternative universe, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29331792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMarss/pseuds/LadyMarss
Summary: Sirius Black is bored, so he decides to text random things to random numbers to see what happens. But people don't seem that eager to engage in conversation with an unknown number who's saying some weird things. Until he finds someone who does.
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 164
Kudos: 147





	1. Bored people being bored together

**Author's Note:**

> So... I kind of did something.
> 
> I’ve been obsessed with this whole “wrong number text fic AU” lately. Also with wolfstar, cause they’re cute af. So, after almost a year of not leaving home because of quarantine, and reading fanfiction being one of the very few things that have been conforting me, I’ve finally decided to write my own.
> 
> I don’t really know what to expect from it. And neither should you, really haha. I’m just having fun and warming my heart, really. I do want to write something good, though, cause I always loved writing, but it’s been literally years since I’ve last written anything, actually. I do want to go all the way through with this, though. I have some ideas and I’m excited!
> 
> Don’t know how often I’ll be able to update this, though, with uni, and studying and stuff. But I’ll do my best. As long as this keeps making me happy, since that’s the whole point of why I’m doing this in the first place.
> 
> As to inspiration, I was scrolling through my fyp on tik tok and stumbled across one of @insanedogmom ‘s videos. Then watched some more of their videos. And got totally inspired by them. That’s where I got the “I’m bored, let me text some random numbers” idea. So, if by any chance, you ever read this, I wanna say thank you. I’ve been wanting to write something for ages and your videos were what finally got me inspired.
> 
> Anyway, I talk too much, I know, I’m sorry hahah
> 
> One last thing, though. I must warn you that English is not my native language, so I apologize for my lack of knowledge on some slangs and vocabulary and British culture and stuff. Also for some Brazilian memes references I might maybe add to this just for fun. But just maybe, I still don’t know, I’m kind of making this up as I go.
> 
> Ok, that was quite enough, I guess haha. Anyway, I hope you like reading this as much as I liked writing it!

** Thursday **

** Sirius’s phone **

****

**Stranger #1**

Could Scooby-Doo actually talk or were they all just high? **(16:47)**

 **(16:49)** Pretty sure you’re high

But like, could only Shaggy hear him and thought everyone else could too? **(16:49)**

**(16:50)** _[seen]_

\---

**Stranger #2**

The concept of batman vs superman is dumb **(16:52)**

 **(16:56)** What

 **(16:56)** Who is this?

I mean, the whole “hey, our moms have the same name, let’s be besties!” thing is just lazy writing! **(16:57)**

 **(16:58)** Fuck off

\---

**Stranger #5**

Did you know that if you die with a tampon in they don’t take it out? **(17:03)**

**(17:08)** _[seen]_

_[Blocked]_

\---

**Stranger #9**

Did you hear about Anna Julia? **(17:11)**

You know I’m not one to judge, but even for her that was low! **(17:11)**

 **(17:13)** Wow, no, I didn’t hear anything!

 **(17:14)** What was it this time??

Well, you know Anna Julia **(17:15)**

She can’t just not get involved in some kind of scandal for an entire month **(17:16)**

 **(17:17)** Yep, that’s Anna Julia

 **(17:18)** Did you honestly expect anything different?

You have a point **(17:18)**

Maybe I shouldn’t have that much faith in people **(17:19)**

 **(17:19)** That would be wise

 **(17:19)** Anyway

 **(17:20)** Spill the t

 **(17:20)** What did Little Miss AJ do this time?

Well, she slept with this guy, right **(17:21)**

BUT THEN – she dumped his ass and slept with his twin brother **(17:22)**

But so far it’s fine **(17:23)**

 **(17:24)** Oh yeah, that’s classic Anna Julia

You’d think **(17:24)**

Anyway **(17:24)**

After dumping guy for twin, she dumped twin for other twin because APPARENTLY THEY’RE TRIPLETS **(17:25)**

 **(17:25)** That’s still pretty standard for her

 **(17:25)** I don’t get why would THIS be considered “low even for her”

THAT’S NOT ALL **(17:28)**

 **(17:28)** Oh

 **(17:29)** Please do tell

She’s pregnant **(17:29)**

And she doesn’t know which triplet is the father **(17:30)**

So she just told all 3 of them separately that they were the father to get alimony out of them all **(17:31)**

 **(17:31)** You’re right. That’s low. Wow

I KNOW RIGHT SO FUCKING LOW LIKE ANNA JULIA WTF **(17:32)**

 **(17:32)** I mean, she’s done some really questionable decisions

 **(17:33)** But this is just too much

We should make an intervention **(17:34)**

 **(17:34)** Agreed

 **(17:35)** She can’t go on like this

 **(17:35)** She really crossed a line

 **(17:36)** I’m gonna give her the scolding of her life

 **(17:36)** She won’t even know what hit her

Ok, I think this might get too far so I should stop now **(17:37)**

I don’t really know Anna Julia **(17:37)**

I’m just really bored, so I started texting random things to random numbers **(17:38)**

So please don’t go ranting on Anna Julia about something a total stranger has made up haha **(17:39)**

I didn’t even expect you would know a Anna Julia **(17:39)**

 **(17:40)** Oh, I don’t know a Anna Julia

… **(17:40)**

What **(17:41)**

 **(17:41)** Guess I was bored too

 **(17:42)** Then I got your message and I was like “you know what, I could use some gossip”

OH MY GODS YOUR LIKE MY SOULMATE **(17:43)**

 **(17:43)** You’re*

And now you blew it with fucking grammar **(17:44)**

 **(17:44)** I got to ask though

Please do **(17:44)**

 **(17:45)** Anna Julia? Of all the names?

Oh **(17:45)**

I may or may not have been listening to Los Hermanos when I came up with a name **(17:46)**

 **(17:47)** Well, that’s good music, so I’ll take it

Fucking classic **(17:47)**

 **(17:47)** Yeah

 **(17:48)** Less obvious than Delilah or Caroline

I am never obvious **(17:48)**

I’m a bag full of originality **(17:49)**

 **(17:49)** I kinda got that from your made-up gossip

Not my best work, though **(17:50)**

The other random numbers haven’t really been engaging in conversation with me, so I didn’t expect to get this far, I guess **(17:50)**

 **(17:50)** So you hadn’t thought this through? Such an amateur

Hey! **(17:50)**

I told you this wasn’t my best work! **(17:51)**

 **(17:51)** I wonder what other stuff you made up to the other random numbers

Did you know that if you die with a tampon in they don’t take it out? **(17:52)**

 **(17:53)** I actually did

What how **(17:54)**

 **(17:54)** Well how did you?

I had just found out about it before I sent it to some number when I was googling random facts **(17:55)**

 **(17:56)** So much googling for a bag full of originality

… **(17:57)**

Fuck **(17:57)**

You’re right **(17:57)**

I’m a fraud **(17:57)**

I might just die of embarrassment now **(17:58)**

 **(17:58)** Make sure you don’t have a tampon on

HAHAHA OKAY you’re back to being my soulmate **(17:59)**

 **(17:59)** As flattering as that is, I do have to go

 **(18:00)** Thanks for the fake gossip, though

Anytime ;) **(18:00)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the beggining of a story!
> 
> Well, I did say in the notes that I could end up possibly adding some Brazilian references, and so I did haha
> 
> But I think - and hope - that it's nothing that non-Brazilians wouldn't understand, it's more like some easter eggs to my fellow Brazilians. So, for some clarification:
> 
> "Anna Julia" is a song by the band Los Hermanos. I wanted to use a name from a song and i figured "why not?" But I need to add that I've got nothing against "Hey There Delilah" and "Sweet Caroline". Love them both.
> 
> Also, I used the phrase "but so far it's fine" with the same energy of "até aí tudo bem", which is something Brazilians say a lot while gossiping.
> 
> Anyway, that was chapter 1, hope you liked it!


	2. Ranting on Red Velvet cake

** Friday **

** Sirius’s Phone **

****

**Gossip Addict**

Red Velvet is a bullshit concept for a cake flavor. Change my mind **(08:33)**

**(08:41)** Why? I mean, it’s no chocolate cake, but it tastes good

**(08:43)** Also, have you really been that bored since yesterday that you just kept texting random numbers until you finished the cycle and ended up at mine again?

It’s just a boring cake with some white cream, but it gets hyped up just because it’s red! **(08:45)**

Not many strangers would be willing to discuss such an important matter with me, so I’m not letting you go now that I’ve found you **(08:46)**

**(08:47)** My point still stands. It tastes good, red or not

**(08:48)** Not many strangers? Do you often text strangers to rant on cake flavors?

BUT THAT’S JUST IT! If being red changes nothing on flavor, why it gotta be red? Why not Blue Velvet?? **(08:50)**

Only when I’m bored. Do you often reply to strangers to defend said flavor? **(08:51)**

**(08:51)** But there /is/ such a thing as a Blue Velvet cake

**(08:52)** Only when I’m bored

There is? What’s the difference between a Red and a Blue Velvet, then? **(08:53)**

So you’re bored now, huh? **(08:54)**

**(08:55)** One is red and the other is blue?

**(08:56)** I’m replying, aren’t I? You’re bored too.

So the only difference is food coloring? That’s stupid! It could be literally any color but only red gets fame and fortune! **(08:58)**

Yep. Count on a boring class to get you bored **(08:59)**

**(09:01)** Not necessarily. Instead of using food coloring you can get the red by adding beets in the cake batter. That would add flavor too, therefore being different than other colors

**(09:02)** Texting in class? Shame on you!

First, beets? Ok, Dwight. Second, even if you can use beets, most Red Velvets are made with food coloring, let’s face it, so I still don’t get what all the red supremacy is about **(09:05)**

Like you’re one to talk! Why would you even be up this early on a week day if you weren’t supposed to be busy? You’re ignoring something to text me as well **(09:07)**

**(09:08)** Idk, Communism? That’s red

**(09:09)** I’m sick, so I’ve been home the last few days. The reason why I’ve been so bored lately. Getting better, though, reckon I’ll be back to school on Monday

… **(09:09)**

Ok, I said change my mind and so you did **(09:10)**

With Communism **(09:10)**

That’s awesome **(09:10)**

Communist Cake sounds so much better than fucking Red Velvet **(09:11)**

And also explains why it gotta be red **(09:11)**

You did well. **(09:12)**

Also, it sucks that you’re sick, hope you get better **(09:15)**

**(09:16)** Thanks

But does it mean you will stop replying to my amazing insights once you’re not bored from sickness anymore? **(09:18)**

**(09:19)** Bored from sickness. Now that’s a feeling

**(09:20)** And I might still reply to your insights if I find them amusing enough

Challenge accepted :) **(09:23)**

Gotta put my phone away now, though. Teacher is giving me suspicious looks **(09:23)**

**(09:24)** Such an amateur

-

**Prongsie**

**(08:56)** Who are you texting? It’s not me. It’s not Pete either, I don’t see him with his phone and he’s not smooth enough to hide it this well. You don’t have other friends

How dare you! I’ve got lots of friends! **(08:57)**

**(08:58)** Not sure you can consider strangers you harass and tell you to fuck off as your friends, mate

Not strangers **(08:58)**

A stranger **(08:58)**

And I’m not harassing them **(08:58)**

They actually talk to me **(08:59)**

**(09:01)** Well, congratulations Pads, you finally found a crazy one

**(09:03)** I’ll make sure to give a great speech at your funeral after you’re murdered by some creepy stalker

Fuck off **(09:03)**

I’m well aware of stranger danger **(09:03)**

They haven’t said anything creepy so far, and I can just block them if they do **(09:04)**

And it’s not like I give actual information anyway, I’m just ranting about Red Velvet cake **(09:04)**

**(09:04)** Oh, poor stranger, not that again

**(09:05)** It tastes good, just drop it

That’s what they said too **(09:05)**

\---

Ok, I now like Red Velvet cake **(09:14)**

**(09:18)** They

**(09:18)** Actually changed your mind?

**(09:20)** Ok, keep them.

But it is now called Communist Cake, though **(09:21)**

**(09:21)** Wha-

**(09:22)** You know what, it doesn’t matter

**(09:22)** McGoo is giving eyes

Shit **(09:22)**

**-**

**Communist Cake**

Hey! Stop calling me an amateur! **(12:14)**

I’m anything but an amateur! **(12:14)**

**(12:21)** Aren’t you risking getting your phone confiscated now? That’s amateur

It’s lunchtime, idiot **(12:21)**

And I am no amateur! **(12:22)**

**(12:23)** Is it? I didn’t even have breakfast. Guess I should eat

**(12:24)** Have you ever had your phone confiscated?

Damn. Yeah, you should eat, that’s usually important **(12:25)**

Well… you gotta start learning somewhere **(12:25)**

**(12:26)** When did you first have your phone confiscated?

Idk, few years ago **(12:26)**

**(12:27)** And when did it last happened?

… **(12:28)**

…tuesday **(12:29)**

**(12:29)** Doesn’t seem like you’ve learned much, so that means…

Smartarse **(12:30)**

**(12:30)** Thanks, I try :)

And do a pretty good job **(12:31)**

Now go eat. **(12:32)**

**(12:32)** Aye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I have already baked a Red Velvet Cake with beets. It was delicious.


	3. Astronomy and Breaking Windows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Sirius and Remus get closer, they're gonna start texting more. Which means I'll be writing longer chapters. Which means it'll probably take me longer to write them. Also, It's been only a week since Uni started and I already have /so/ much work ahead!  
> What I'm trying to say is don't be surprised if it takes me longer to update this story from now on. I'm not giving up, though, I'm just busier. Still loving to write this!

** Saturday **

** Sirius’s Phone **

****

**Smart Arse**

On my shampoo bottle it says wash, rinse, repeat. How many times do I have to repeat? **(11:08)**

 **(11:10)** 6

Shit. I usually only do 5 **(11:11)**

 **(11:11)** Has to be at least 6

Can’t believe I’ve been washing my hair wrong my entire life **(11:12)**

 **(11:13)** How could you be doing it an odd number? It totally breaks the hair harmony

You have enlightened my life **(11:13)**

My hair now will be more luscious than ever (if that’s even possible) and I only have you to thank for it! **(11:14)**

 **(11:15)** Anytime!

-

**Hair Harmony**

Why do we live if we die? **(13:34)**

 **(13:38)** How could we die if we didn’t live?

Why die at all? **(13:39)**

 **(13:39)** Become a ghost

 **(13:40)** Hunt some big old mansion

Ghosts are so predictable though **(13:40)**

It’s always some 17th century ghost in some ancient big household **(13:41)**

 **(13:42)** You’re right

 **(13:42)** I’d be a modern ghost then

 **(13:43)** Like, hunt some fancy flat and yell “it’s Britney bitch” at 3 in the morning

Now that’s better! **(13:44)**

**-**

**It’s Ghost, Bitch**

What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sales of all time? **(15:21)**

 **(15:22)** Prostate exams

Kidney removal surgery **(15:23)**

 **(15:24)** Amputation

Casket **(15:24)**

 **(15:25)** Monocles

Eyepatches **(15:25)**

 **(15:25)** Potatoes

Potatoes? **(15:26)**

 **(15:26)** Yeah

What’s wrong with potatoes? **(15:27)**

 **(15:27)** I just don’t like it

Any kind of potatoes??? **(15:27)**

As in… not even fries???? **(15:28)**

 **(15:28)** I like fries. And crisps

 **(15:29)** But other kinds… idk they just feel weird in my mouth, I don’t like it

Weirdo **(15:29)**

 **(15:30)** You rant on Red Velvet, I rant on kinds of potatoes

…fair. **(15:31)**

**-**

**Potato Weirdo**

Would you rather be able to control fire or water? **(18:52)**

 **(18:54)** Why not earth or air?

Because a game of would you rather only gives you two choices **(18:54)**

 **(18:55)** Fine. Water

Really? I’d pick fire **(18:55)**

 **(18:56)** Well, you said ‘control’, not ‘produce’, and water is everywhere

But fire is cooler **(18:56)**

 **(18:56)** Okay, Zuko

Okay, Katara **(18:57)**

**-**

**Katara**

Why is it called a Blue Moon? **(22:47)**

It’s not blue! **(22:47)**

 **(22:48)** Oh, that’s just a name

 **(22:48)** It only means that it’s the second Full Moon of the month

 **(22:49)** Since there’s usually only one Full Moon per month, when there’s a second one it gets a special name

Oh **(22:49)**

I didn’t know that **(22:49)**

But why is it called Blue Moon if it isn’t even blue? **(22:50)**

 **(22:50)** Why /not/ call it Blue Moon? Sounds cool

 **(22:51)** Better and shorter than “Second Full Moon Of The Month”

Okay, maybe you have a point **(22:52)**

And do you just know random facts about the moon? **(22:53)**

 **(22:54)** It’s not random to know what a Blue Moon is, that’s a quite well known fact about the moon. It’s not random just because you didn’t know that

 **(22:55)**...but yes, I actually know some random facts about the moon

Such as… **(22:56)**

 **(22:56)** Did you know that the moon has quakes too?

What, like moonquakes? **(22:57)**

 **(22:57)** Yeah, that’s actually what they’re called!

 **(22:58)** But, unlike earthquakes, they don’t last just a few minutes, they can last up to half an hour. But moonquakes are much weaker, though

How do you know all that? **(22:50)**

 **(22:50)** I just

 **(22:51)** Really like astronomy. Space and stuff

 **(22:52)** Idk I just find it interesting

 **(22:54)** I’m a lame nerd, I know

No! **(22:54)**

I mean, yes, you’re such a nerd, but that’s not a bad thing **(22:55)**

And having interests definitely doesn’t make you lame **(22:56)**

And it’s quite nice to see you talking passionately about something **(22:58)**

I mean, cuz I don’t really know anything about you **(22:59)**

If that makes sense **(23:00)**

 **(23:02)** It does

 **(23:03)** I-

 **(23:03)** Thank you

I really like bikes **(23:04)**

I plan to build my own someday **(23:05)**

 **(23:06)** Wow!

 **(23:06)** That’s like

 **(23:07)** Insanely cool, actualy!

I know, right! **(23:07)**

So… **(23:08)**

Since you really like astronomy **(23:09)**

Would you happen to know which is the brightest star in the sky? **(23:10)**

 **(23:10)** Oh, yes. That would be Sirius

Hahaha **(23:10)**

You bet it is! **(23:11)**

 **(23:11)** I feel like I’m missing something?

Don’t worry, you’ll get it someday **(23:12)**

 **(23:13)**...okay?

Good night, Moony **(23:13)**

 **(23:14)** …good night?

\---

** Sunday **

****

**Moony**

So, my mate Prongs is bugging me about the fact that I keep texting you but you might just be an old man creeping on me **(14:23)**

Are you an old man creeping on me? **(14:23)**

 **(14:27)** No, I’m not

Great! I’ll tell Prongs that **(14:28)**

 **(14:28)** Are you an old man creeping on me?

No, I’m not **(14:29)**

 **(14:29)** Great

 **(14:31)** After this completely reassuring conversation, I gotta ask

 **(14:32)** What the hell is a Prongs?

Oh haha that’s my best friend’s nickname **(14:32)**

 **(14:33)** Did you come up with that?

Yes! And also Wormtail. And Moony, of course **(14:34)**

 **(14:35)** Oh, so you’re actually calling me that

Well, I had to call you something **(14:35)**

And I had the feeling you wouldn’t give me your name if I asked **(14:36)**

 **(14:36)** Yeah, that sounds about right

There you go! **(14:36)**

Then Moony it is! **(14:37)**

 **(14:38)** And what should I call you?

Aw you’re not gonna give me a nickname? :( **(14:39)**

 **(14:40)** Your friends are called Prongs and Wormtail, I’ve got the feeling you already have a nickname

Yeah, you’re right **(14:41)**

You can call me Padfoot **(14:41)**

 **(14:42)** Padfoot

 **(14:43)** Does it have a backstory?

Me and my mates were throwing pillows at each other. When we ran out of pillows at reach we just started throwing whatever was in our way. We ended up breaking the window of our dorm and I stepped on some broken glass. It was bleeding, but I didn’t want to go to the infirmary, cuz we would have to explain what happened and then get in trouble for breaking a window. So Prongs had the idea of borrowing a pad from one of the girls. And the rest, as they say, is history! **(14:45)**

 **(14:46)** I have so many questions

Shoot **(14:46)**

 **(14:48)** 1- Dorm?

2- Why a pad?

3- You had to ‘borrow it from one of the girls’. You’re a bloke, then?

4- What did you do with the bloody window if you didn’t tell anyone?

1- Yeah, our boarding school dorm

2- Pads are meant to be really absorbent. It was the best idea we could come up with

3- Oh, yes, I’m a bloke

4- We didn’t break the whole window, just one of the glass parts. So we measured it, went to town that weekend, bought a piece of glass, and superglued it. It’s been a couple of years and so far it’s been fine. We reckon we’ll be able to graduate before we get into trouble because of that **(14:51)**

 **(14:53)** You guys are unbelievable

 **(14:53)** But why do I get the feeling you get into trouble for other things a lot?

Oh haha we actually do **(14:54)**

We’re the pranksters of the school **(14:54)**

 **(14:55)** A boarding school

Yes **(14:55)**

 **(14:56)** Sorry, I’m still getting over the fact that you go to an actual boarding school

 **(14:57)** Didn’t know those still existed

 **(14:58)** And you and your friends pull pranks. On a fancy ass boarding school. Where there’s nowhere you can run to

You’d be surprised. It’s not that difficult to get away with things around here. You just have to be smooth **(14:59)**

 **(14:59)** That’s

 **(15:00)** Intriguing

 **(15:00)** To say the least

 **(15:01)** How old are you?

You realize that if I answer that you’re gonna have to do it to, right? **(15:02)**

 **(15:03)** Yes, it’s fine

 **(15:03)** I’m 17

  1. Are you a senior too? **(15:04)**



**(15:04)** Yeah

So, if you don’t go to ‘a fancy ass boarding school’, what kind of place do you go to? **(15:05)**

 **(15:05)** Just

 **(15:06)** The average public high school

That’s cool. Probably even easier to get away with pranks **(15:06)**

 **(15:07)** I guess it must be

Not the pulling pranks type of… person? **(15:08)**

 **(15:08)** Guy

 **(15:09)** And no. Don’t think I’ve ever tried

You should. Managing some mischief with your friends is one of the best things ever **(15:10)**

 **(15:10)** Well, I reckon my friends wouldn’t really be into it

Well, you’re not saying /you/ wouldn’t be, so I’ll definitely be texting you to help planning our next prank! **(15:11)**

 **(15:11)** Do I even have a choice?

No. **(15:11)**

And you’re very witty with your texts, so I kinda really wanna see what you can come up with **(15:13)**

 **(15:13)** Maybe don’t get your hopes up, then

I’ll be de judge to that **(15:14)**

For now, I gotta go **(15:14)**

Cya, Moony! **(15:14)**

 **(15:15)** Bye, Padfoot

-

Hey, you’re going back to school tomorrow, right? You mentioned being sick, feeling any better? **(22:46)**

 **(22:51)** Oh

 **(22:52)** Yes

 **(22:53)** Much better, thanks

Okay **(22:54)**

That’s good **(22:54)**

Good night, Moony **(22:56)**

 **(22:57)** Good night, Padfoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm projecting my own thoughts on potato onto Remus. Mashed potatoes is the weirdest thing I've ever tasted and no one will ever change my mind!  
> Also, I'm trying to make Sirius and Remus becoming closer without it seeming, like, forced or something. Hopefully I'm doing a good job. I'm also trying to remind myself that I'm doing this for fun and that I don't need to be such a perfeccionist and be so hard on myself.
> 
> Anyway, hope you liked it!


	4. Pumpkin Spice Latte God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay, finally a Remus's POV!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days after me saying that it would probably take longer for me to update this fic? Yes! But only because it's Carnaval (Brazilian holiday) and therefore I don't have classes until Thursday. So, who knows, maybe there will be another chapter tomorrow, or maybe I'll use my last day of freedom to just rest. ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES!
> 
> Anyway, hope you like the chapter :)

** Monday **

** Remus’s Phone **

****

**Padfoot**

**(09:46)** I’m bored

**(09:47)** History is boring

History is awesome **(09:50)**

Chemistry is boring **(09:51)**

**(09:52)** So, for all that’s worth, we’re both bored?

Sounds like it **(09:53)**

**(09:54)** Great!

**(09:54)** Let’s tell a story three words at a time. You start!

There once was **(09:55)**

**(09:55)** A boy named

Harry, destined to **(09:56)**

**(09:56)** Be a star

He was a **(09:56)**

**(09:57)** Wizard who could

Turn water into **(09:57)**

**(09:58)** Pumpkin Spice Latte

With his abilities **(09:59)**

**(10:00)** He was able to

Dethrone Starbucks’s kingdom **(10:01)**

**(10:01)** Of utterly terror

Reestablishing peace upon **(10:02)**

**(10:03)** The Pretentious-Hipster Land

He was awarded **(10:04)**

**(10:05)** Oxford shoes and

A purple ukulele **(10:06)**

**(10:06)** He became the

Hipster’s ultimate God **(10:07)**

**(10:08)** Statues were built

Parties were thrown **(10:09)**

**(10:12)** And the legends of Harry, The Great Hipster God, were told through generations, spreading the word on the power of good Pumpkin Spice Latte, and the people never bowed over the tyranny of The Evil Starbucks ever again!

Wow someone got a bit carried away! **(10:13)**

**(10:13)** Sorry haha

**(10:14)** I like telling stories

In overly dramatic ways, I see **(10:14)**

But you don’t like history? **(10:15)**

**(10:15)** I like History

**(10:16)** I just don’t like the way my professor teaches his classes

**(10:16)** He’s soooo boring

**(10:16)** No one can manage to stay awake when he talks

**(10:17)** And he doesn’t realize, or care, that people aren’t paying attention

That’s tough **(10:17)**

**(10:18)** Yeah

**(10:20)** Wormtail came up with a theory that he’s actually a ghost. Like, one day he just died in his chair, got up as a ghost, didn’t even realized it and just kept teaching

**(10:21)** I’m more and more inclined to believe it each History class I sit through

**(10:21)** I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him outside of his class

Looks like we’ve found the modern ghost we were talking about the other day **(10:22)**

**(10:23)** Haha I wish he would yell “It’s Britney, bitch” out of nowhere

**(10:24)** Although people space out so much during his classes that probably no one would even notice it

Why don’t you yell it yourself, then? **(10:25)**

**(10:28)** _[Voice recording]_

**(10:29)** I did it

OH MY GOD **(10:29)**

I can’t listen to the voice recording in the middle of my class, but I believe you **(10:30)**

What happened??? **(10:30)**

**(10:31)** Wormtail woke up scared

**(10:31)** Prongs and about half of the class looked at me like I was crazy

**(10:32)** And Binns is still talking about the French Revolution like nothing happened

Holly shit **(10:33)**

You’re crazy **(10:33)**

**(10:34)** Thanks, I try :)

-

**Fantastic Four**

**(09:57) Alice:** Guys, it’s happening

**(09:57) Alice:** Remus John Lupin is texting. In. Class.

**(09:58) Dorcas:** WHAAAT

**(09:58) Frank:** NO WAY

**(09:59) Frank:** IT’S THE ACOPALYPSE

**(09:59) Dorcas:** The world isn’t the same

**(10:00) Dorcas:** But also

**(10:00) Dorcas:** Finally, the hypocrisy

**(10:01) Dorcas:** He’s the one who’s always scolding /us/ for texting in class!

**(10:02) Frank:** But did he, like, send one isolated text, or is he fully engaged in conversation?

**(10:02) Alice:** FULLY ENGAGED

**(10:02) Dorcas:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

**(10:03) Frank:** REMUS WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU

**(10:03) Dorcas:** ARE YOU OKAY

Fuck off **(10:04)**

You guys text in class all the time, I do it once and it’s the end of the world **(10:04)**

**(10:05) Frank:** Well dude, that’s just very not like you

**(10:05) Dorcas:** Who are you even texting? Cuz apparently it isn’t any of us

**(10:05) Alice:** Yeah, you don’t have other friends

Ouch **(10:06)**

And **(10:06)**

You don’t know them **(10:07)**

**(10:08) Alice:** How do /you/ know them? I mean, you were sick at home the last five days, you couldn’t possibly have met someone

I don’t need to leave my house to meet someone **(10:09)**

**(10:09) Dorcas:** Remus

**(10:10) Dorcas:** Are you telling us you met someone online?

**(10:10) Alice:** OH MY GOD YOU MET SOMEONE ONLINE

It’s not like that, he’s just a friend. Actually, just someone I talk to, idek if we’re friends **(10:11)**

**(10:11) Frank:** It’s a he?

Oh no **(10:11)**

**(10:12) Alice:** HOLLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S A HE

**(10:12) Dorcas:** IT’S A HE OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMY-

Why Frank **(10:13)**

Why **(10:13)**

**(10:14) Frank:** Sorry mate

**(10:14) Frank:** But to be fair, you were the one who said it, they’d have realized on their own

**(10:15) Alice:** HELL YEAH WE WOULD

**(10:15) Alice:** Now spill the tea

**(10:15) Dorcas:** Yeah, tell us EVERYTHING

**(10:16) Dorcas:** Who is he?

**(10:16) Alice:** When can we met him?

Frank, help me! **(10:16)**

**(10:17) Frank:** Oh I’m as invested as they are

**(10:17) Frank:** I wanna know

**(10:17) Alice:** YES BABE!

NO BABE! **(10:18)**

**(10:18) Dorcas:** So, what’s his name?

**(10:20) Dorcas:** Rem?

**(10:20) Alice:** Remus?

**(10:20) Alice:** REMUS WE’RE IN THE SAME CLASS I CAN SEE YOU HOLDING YOUR PHONE STOP IGNORING US

**(10:21) Dorcas:** I’m sitting behind him, I’ll just look over his shoulder

**(10:21) Dorcas:** It says ‘Padfoot’

**(10:22) Frank:** What’s a Padfoot. Do we know a Padfoot?

**(10:22) Alice:** YOU GAVE HIM A CUTE NICKNAME ALREADY AWWWWW

Oh my- **(10:23)**

IT’S NOT LIKE THAT **(10:23)**

I just **(10:24)**

Wait till the end of the class, I’ll tell you guys everything **(10:25)**

**(10:25) Alice:** Yes you will.

-

**Padfoot**

It’s lunchtime and I finally managed to listen to your voice recording **(12:14)**

I think you’re crazy **(12:14)**

**(12:17)** Yes haha we had that established already

And so do my friends **(12:18)**

But they also think you’re funny **(12:18)**

**(12:19)** Your friends?

Yeah **(12:19)**

They saw me texting in class, and apparently that’s a big deal, so they demanded to know everything **(12:20)**

Anyway, I told them about you **(12:20)**

That’s **(12:22)**

Okay, right? **(12:22)**

**(12:22)** Yes, of course!

**(12:23)** My friends know about you too, anyway

**(12:23)** At least your friends think I’m funny!

Are you trying to tell me your friends don’t think I’m funny? **(12:24)**

**(12:25)** What, are you kidding me??

**(12:26)** Prongs loved you from the moment you made me shut up about Red Velvet cake

**(12:27)** And Wormtail is glad that now I just text you instead of throwing paper balls at him when I’m bored in class

Oh **(12:28)**

Well **(12:29)**

I’m glad they like me, I guess **(12:29)**

**(12:30)** Don’t be silly, Moony

**(12:30)** You’re my friend, of course they like you!

Oh we **(12:31)**

We’re friends? **(12:31)**

**(12:32)** Well

**(12:33)** I mean, I consider you my friend, yeah

**(12:34)** It’s okay if you don’t, though

No I- **(12:35)**

Yeah, I do **(12:35)**

Consider you my friend **(12:36)**

**(12:36)** Oh, great! Cuz I would literally probably die if you didn’t!

My very dramatic friend **(12:37)**

**(12:37)** Yep, that’s me!

**(12:38)** Now

**(12:38)** We’ve established that you think I’m crazy, and that your friends think I’m funny

**(12:39)** But what we’re all dying to know is

**(12:40)** Do /you/ think I’m funny?

Nah **(12:41)**

**(12:41)** Moony, you wound me :(

Well, I mean **(12:42)**

You created a Pumpkin Spice Latte god **(12:42)**

So I guess you’re kinda funny **(12:43)**

**(12:43)** Co-created*

**(12:44)** And I’ll take that ;)

Haha **(12:45)**

Anyway **(12:45)**

Gotta go. Afternoon class **(12:46)**

Ttyl Padfoot **(12:47)**

**(12:47)** Same here

**(12:48)** Cya Moony!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Remus's POV and introduction of his friend group dynamics :)
> 
> Anyway, BRAZILIAN MEMES IN THIS CHAPTER  
> "It's the acopalypse" = "É o acopalipse" - It was meant to be "It's the apocalypse", but then someone said it wrong and now it's purposefuly said/written wrong  
> "Finally, the hypocrisy" = "Enfim, a hipocrisia" - A way of saying someone is being a hypocrit
> 
> AND- "There once was a boy named Harry, destined to be a star" is the beggining of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y57sYHIDP_Y  
> This video lives in my head rent free


	5. Love Advice and Sarcastic Comments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Not a very long chapter, I know, but I felt like writing today and came up with this. Hope you like it!

** Tuesday **

** Sirius’s Phone **

****

**Moony**

Moony, I need your help **(15:19)**

How good are you with love advice? **(15:19)**

**(15:21)** I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you with a sarcastic comment?

Considering it’s a hopeless case, that’ll do **(15:22)**

**(15:22)** Oh god

**(15:23)** Why am I not surprised with you being a hopeless case?

I should probably take offense in you thinking I’m the hopeless case, but I see your point, so I won’t **(15:24)**

Prongs is the one who’s hopeless and awkward and desperate for love **(15:24)**

**(15:25)** …okay? I’m listening

Long story short, Prongs has been in love with this girl for yeeears. Like, since we were 11. But he gets nervous around her and acts like a fool. He has asked her out several times but she always turned him down, saying he’s too immature and so on. Anyway, since it’s our senior year, Prongs has put in his head that this is the year he’s gotta win her over. It definitely hasn’t worked so far, but he just doesn’t give up. And it’s all he thinks about! Besides school stuff and being captain of the basketball team, of course. We haven’t pulled a prank in AGES because he just won’t let it go, he says “finding out the way to impress the one true love of his life is more important than planning stupid pranks” **(15:28)**

Then Wormtail and I gasp at the words “stupid pranks” and Prongs instantly apologizes **(15:28)**

I’ve told him he should just let it go, but he just won’t **(15:28)**

And it’s getting on my nerves, because Lily is clearly not interested. I mean, the boy can’t even hold a decent conversation with her, as to why it’s hopeless **(15:29)**

I just wish he would get over his shit, but it’s not like I can tell him all this, cuz he’s still my best friend, and I can’t blame him for being an idiot in love who’s so sure he has found “the one” **(15:29)**

Anyway, that’s pretty much it. I know I started saying “long story short” and ended up talking a lot, so I’m sorry for that **(15:30)**

**(15:31)** Nah, you don’t need to apologize

**(15:31)** Okay

**(15:32)** The way I see it, Prongs is putting this girl Lily in a pedestal. He’s never gonna be able to talk to her like a normal person if he sees her like an “unreachable being” rather than, well, a normal person

**(15:33)** Also, he shouldn’t give himself an “ultimato”. Like as if he doesn’t win her over this year he’s gonna be miserable for the rest of his life

**(15:34)** You say he should let it go in a way of, like, forgetting about her. I think he should let it go in a way more in the lines of just living his life. Like, not trying to go out of his way to impress her

**(15:34)** Just

**(15:35)** Be himself, as cliché as it sounds

**(15:36)** If she really is the one true love of his life like he says, she’s gonna like him

**(15:36)** And if she doesn’t

**(15:37)** Well, then it just wasn’t meant to be and he can really move on

That’s **(15:38)**

Pretty good advice **(15:38)**

Thanks, Moony **(15:38)**

And here I was waiting for a sarcastic comment haha **(15:39)**

**(15:39)** Oh, I can still provide you with a sarcastic comment if you like

Yes, please, that would be very much appreciated! **(15:40)**

**(15:40)** Because gaining your appreciation really is the light of my day!

Aww Moony, aren’t you the sweetest! **(15:40)**

**(15:41)** …

… **(15:41)**

Oh **(15:42)**

That was the sarcastic comment **(15:42)**

**(15:42)** Aren’t you the brightest of our generation!

You’re mean **(15:43)**

**(15:43)** Thanks, I try my best ;)

Arsehole **(15:44)**

Anyway, gtg, Basketball practise **(15:44)**

And I’m gonna talk to Prongs. This time it may actually do something, thanks to you **(15:45)**

Ttyl Moony! **(15:45)**

**(15:46)** Ttyl Padfoot

**(15:47)** And, whatever ends up happening, I just hope Prongs is okay

Aww, you really /are/ the sweetest, Moony! **(15:47)**

**(15:48)** Bye, Padfoot

C’mon, don’t act like I didn’t just make you blush ;) **(15:48)**

Moony? **(15:49)**

Oh my god, I really DID make you blush, didn’t I? **(15:50)**

**(15:50)** Didn’t you have Basketball practice?

HAHAHA I totally did. **(15:50)**

Anyway, I’m going to spare you **(15:50)**

Goodbye, my sweet Moony <3 **(15:51)**

**(15:51)** Fuck you.

-

**Wormy**

**(18:07)** I know we’re all having dinner at the same table

**(18:07)** But

**(18:07)** Is James talking to Evans?

**(18:08)** Like, actually really PROPERLY talking to her?

I KNOW RIGHT **(18:08)**

Look how much our boy has grown :’) **(18:09)**

**(18:09)** Pads

**(18:10)** Idk what you told him today after practice

**(18:10)** But after 7 years, it actually worked

**(18:11)** Which is a bit terrifying, you might have just disrupted the whole balance of the universe

HAHAHA yeah, the universe is definitely gonna explode if Evans ever agree to go on a date with him **(18:12)**

Anyway, I wish I could take credit for it all, but it was actually Moony **(18:13)**

**(18:13)** I should have figured it, you’re not that wise

Prongs said the same thing, you guys are mean :( **(18:14)**

**(18:14)** We’re just as mean as you are

**(18:15)** Anyway, thank Moony for me, he’s just saved us from a lifetime of putting up with James’s whining

He really did, didn’t he **(18:15)**

**(18:15)** Yeah

**(18:15)** I mean

**(18:16)** You better marry this guy

**(18:16)** Cuz if you don’t, I might

Fuck off **(18:17)**

**(18:17)** Okay. Sorry, man, he’s all yours!

Fuck you. **(18:17)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends references? More especifically Chandler Bing references? Yes, I love them!


	6. Ice and Rocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this chapter in the middle of a lecture. I like Psychoanalysis, but my professor talks waaay too much and I get bored, and since I'm still having online classes due to covid I figured I might as well use the time to write. Don't worry, I still payed attention in the important bits, I'm a good student, I swear! Even if I'm drawning in group projects. In some of them I need to talk to people. Yesterday I interviewed a pregnant woman for an assigment of a subject called "Practices on Psychology of the Development of Children and Teenagers" (I tried to translate the name from portuguese the best I could). Yes, I have subjects with some really long names.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry for rambling, I just needed to let it out. I really am drowning in assigments.
> 
> Also, if it wasn't clear enough already, I'm a Psychology major. I might complain about some things sometimes, but I'm absolutely in love with it! It's what I wanted to study since I was 12.
> 
> Okay, that's quite enough! Here's the chapter, hope you like it!
> 
> And I swear, even though I wrote it in the middle of a Psychoanalysis class, there are no Freud references in it! (Psychology jokes, yay!)

** Wednesday **

** Remus’s Phone **

****

**Padfoot**

**(10:43)** Moony, are you a wizard?

Yes **(10:48)**

I’m also a werewolf **(10:49)**

**(10:49)** That goes well with your nickname, so I’ll take it

**(10:49)** Anyway

**(10:50)** You must be a wizard cuz MAGIC IS THE ONLY WAY TO EXPLAIN IT

**(10:50)** Wormtail says thanks, by the way

? **(10:51)**

Padfoot, you’re not making any sense **(10:51)**

**(10:52)** You gave ONE piece of advice

**(10:52)** Which I’ve passed on to Prongs

**(10:53)** And now not only can he talk to her like an actual human being but also SHE AGREED TO BE HIS PARTNER IN CHEMISTRY

**(10:54)** And Wormtail says thanks cuz he also couldn’t stand Prongs’s sulking anymore

Oh **(10:55)**

Well, you’re welcome, I guess **(10:56)**

I’m glad I could help **(10:56)**

**(10:56)** Help??

**(10:57)** Moony, you’ve been in our lives for less than a week and you’re already solving our biggest problems!

**(10:58)** You’re bloody brilliant!

**(10:58)** We bow before your superior intellect!

Padfoot, as flattered as I might be, I didn’t do that much **(10:58)**

I’ve probably just repeated some things I’ve heard Alice and Dorcas say over the years **(10:59)**

**(10:59)** Ooooo are those your friends? The ones that think I’m funny?

Yes **(10:59)**

There’s also Frank **(10:59)**

**(11:00)** Tell them I said hi!

But they’ll- **(11:00)**

Okay, fine **(11:01)**

-

**Fantastic Four**

**(10:45) Dorcas:** Anyone else finding this class useless?

**(10:46) Alice:** Aye

**(10:47) Frank:** C’mon, Geography is not useless

**(10:48) Alice:** Geography isn’t. But this specific part of it in which we learn to identify different kinds of rocks pretty much is

**(10:48) Frank:** Okay, I see your point

**(10:50) Dorcas:** Here’s the true question, though

**(10:50) Dorcas:** Is ice a rock?

**(10:51) Frank:** …

**(10:51) Alice:** …

**(10:52) Alice:** OH MY GOD IS IT???

**(10:52) Frank:** Wait

**\---**

**(10:54) Frank:** The textbook says rocks are agglomerations of minerals

**(10:54) Dorcas:** Water is full of minerals

**(10:55) Frank:** So when water turns to ice…

**(10:55) Alice:** YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TELLING ME THAT ICE IS A ROCK

**(10:56) Frank:** BUT BABE IT TECHNICALLY IS

**(10:56) Dorcas:** YEAH BABE

**(10:56) Alice:** REMUS THEY’RE SAYING ICE IS A ROCK COME SAVE ME

**(10:57) Dorcas:** REMUS COME AGREE WITH US

**(10:58) Frank:**...

**(10:58) Frank:** He’s holding his phone but he’s not coming, is he ignoring us?

**(10:59) Alice:** Of course he is, he only texts in class to talk to his Padfoot

**(10:59) Alice:** *aggressively rolls eyes*

**(11:00) Dorcas:** REMUS QUIT TALKING TO LOVER BOY FOR A SECOND AND COME SETTLE THIS

Of course I’m ignoring you, this is madness **(11:01)**

He says hi, by the way **(11:02)**

**(11:02) Alice:** jkfjgcdhgo

**(11:02) Frank:** Oooooo

??? **(11:02)**

Hey, stop looking at each other with smirks and tell me what’s going on! **(11:03)**

**(11:04) Dorcas:** Lover Boy says hi?

Oh bugger- **(11:04)**

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO CALLED HIM LOVER BOY **(11:05)**

**(11:05) Dorcas:** WELL YOU WENT ALONG WITH IT

AAAAAAA **(11:05)**

PADFOOT says hi **(11:06)**

**(11:06) Dorcas:** Hi, Padfoot!

**(11:06) Frank:** Hey, mate!

**(11:06) Alice:** Hiiiiii

**(11:07) Alice:** And Rem, correcting ‘Lover Boy’ to the cute nickname you gave him doesn’t help your case

I didn’t give him anything, his friends did. I just call him that for privacy, I told you that! **(11:07)**

**(11:08) Dorcas:** What does he call you, then?

… **(11:08)**

I don’t wanna answer that **(11:08)**

**(11:09) Alice:** OH MY GOD

**(11:09) Dorcas:** /HE/ GAVE /YOU/ A CUTE NICKNAME!!!!

IT’S JUST FOR PRIVACY **(11:10)**

FRANK STOP LAUGHING!!! **(11:11)**

**(11:11) Frank:** sorry, watching you dig your own grave is just too funny!

Oh fuck all of you **(11:12)**

**(11:12) Alice:** yeah yeah, go ask Lover Boy if ice is a rock

I won’t- **(11:12)**

Yeah, sure **(11:13)**

**-**

**(11:06)** Moony, are you coming back?

**(11:10)** Moony, please don’t abandon me :(

**(11:13)** Moooonnnyyyy

They say hi **(11:14)**

They’re also asking if ice is a rock **(11:14)**

**(11:15)** aushaush your friends are the best

**(11:15)** Where does everybody stand so far?

Dorcas and Frank say technically yes **(11:16)**

Alice and I call it madness **(11:17)**

**(11:17)** So I’m a tie breaker?

**(11:17)** Oooo that’s so much power!

Use it wisely **(11:18)**

**(11:19)** What I think is that everybody is missing a very important point

Do tell **(11:20)**

**(11:20)** IF ice is a rock

**(11:21)** Does that mean water is lava?

That’s- **(11:21)**

Gonna cause a commotion **(11:22)**

Brb **(11:22)**

**\---**

Yep. They’re screaming in all capitols in the gc again **(11:25)**

And Frank is saying he doesn’t know what to believe anymore **(11:26)**

I think you broke my friends **(11:26)**

**(11:27)** I AM SO SORRY!!!

Oh, don’t be **(11:27)**

I’m loving this **(11:27)**

**(11:28)** I see, you’re a ‘fire in the playground’ type of guy

**(11:29)** I like it.

Guilty **(11:29)**

And they’re not picking on me anymore, so that’s a bonus **(11:30)**

**(11:30)** Why were they picking on you?

Cuz- **(11:30)**

Well, that’s what friends do **(11:31)**

**(11:32)** I’ve just stolen Wormtail’s pen when he wasn’t looking while you typed that message, so yeah, that’s very true

Hey, you can’t pick on Wormtail while you’re talking to me! **(11:33)**

Wasn’t the whole reason why he liked me that you talking to me make you leave him alone? **(11:34)**

**(11:34)** But his pen was just lying there!

**(11:35)** And he wasn’t paying attention!

**(11:35)** And now he’s looking for it because he thinks he dropped it and it’s hilarious!

Padfoot **(11:36)**

Give the boy his pen back **(11:36)**

**(11:37)** But-

Padfoot. **(11:37)**

**(11:37)** FINE

**(11:38)** There, I gave it back

Good boy **(11:38)**

**(11:39)** You’re no fun

You don’t actually think that **(11:39)**

**(11:40)** Nah, you’re right

**(11:41)** I really like talking to you, Moony

I knew it **(11:41)**

I **(11:41)**

Really like talking to you too, Padfoot **(11:42)**

**(11:42)** :)

:) **(11:42)**

HOLY SHIT **(11:43)**

**(11:43)** What?

The discussion in the gc escalated so much that Alice raised her hand to ask our teacher if ice is a rock **(11:44)**

**(11:44)** THAT’S GOLD

IT GOT BETTER **(11:46)**

Dorcas brought up the water/lava bit **(11:46)**

**(11:47)** TELL ME HOW IT GOES, I’M PART OF THIS!!!

The teacher doesn’t know what to say **(11:48)**

Other classmates are bringing up points **(11:49)**

THIS BECAME A DEBATE **(11:49)**

**(11:50)** MOONY DID I JUST BREAK YOU ENTIRE CLASSROOM

YOU DID **(11:50)**

Oh my god **(11:51)**

**(11:51)** What now?

The teacher is dismissing us **(11:52)**

Guess I’m going to lunch **(11:52)**

This was incredible **(11:53)**

**(11:54)** Wish I could do the same here, but I’m in Chemistry. If I ask Slughorn if ice is a rock he’ll just talk boring stuff

Poor you **(11:55)**

**(11:55)** Precisely! Poor me!

**(11:56)** Anyway, you’re having lunch now?

Might as well **(11:57)**

**(11:57)** Ttyl?

Sure **(11:58)**

Bye Padfoot! **(11:58)**

**(11:59)** Bye Moony!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought soooo much whether I should use the term "fire in the playground" or not! Because I promised myself I would only use Brazilian refferences that wouldn't jeopardize the understanding of things. But I thought it would be okay. ANYWAY, it means something in the lines of "watch the world burn", like, instigate things and don't get involved, just see what happens. FOGO NO PARQUINHO. I love this expresion jfhvndcn
> 
> Anyway, TELL ME IF ME USING BRAZILIAN REFFERENCES GETS ANNOYING, it's very fun for me and I love doing it, but it's not worth it if other people reading it only get confused, SO GIVE FEEDBACK ON THAT IF YOU FEEL IT'S NEEDED.
> 
> Also, I can agree with the statement that ice is a rock, but I'm not buying that water is lava.


	7. Week-versary!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the longest chapter I've written so far. I really wasn't expecting it, but as I was writing I decided to talk about some topics that are important to me, so I couldn't just not do it justice. Anyway, I hope it's good hahaha

** Thursday **

** Sirius’s Phone **

****

**Moony**

Good moooorning Moooonnnyyy **(07:02)**

Happy week-versary! **(07:02)**

**(07:08)** Padfoot, it’s too early, I haven’t even had breakfast yet

**(07:09)** Happy what now?

Well, rise and shine, Moonbeam! **(07:09)**

It’s our week-versary! **(07:09)**

As in it’s been a week since I randomly texted your number and we started talking! **(07:10)**

**(07:11)** Oh

**(07:11)** Well, happy week-versary, Padfoot!

**(07:12)** And also, Moonbeam? Did you just give a nickname to my nickname?

Sure, why not **(07:12)**

Anyway, I’ve got to go get through the day now **(07:13)**

Which means I’ll text you the first boring class I get **(07:13)**

Ttyl Moonflower! **(07:14)**

**(07:14)** Oh god

**(07:15)** Ttyl Padfoot

It’s the lack of enthusiasm for me **(07:15)**

**(07:15)** Sorry. You can try me later once I’ve had my coffee

Will do ;) **(07:16)**

\-----

So, like I said, I’m texting you on a boring class **(09:18)**

Have you had your coffee yet? **(09:18)**

**(09:21)** I’m in the middle of a class myself, so yes, I’ve had my coffee

Great! **(09:22)**

Tell me a joke, then! **(09:22)**

**(09:23)** Why?

Why not? **(09:23)**

**(09:23)** Okay

**(09:24)** I’ve got a great knock knock joke, but I need you to start

Knock knock **(09:24)**

**(09:24)** Who’s there?

… **(09:25)**

I don’t get it **(09:25)**

**(09:25)** …

Oh **(09:26)**

**(09:26)** There you go!

You just love making fun of me, don’t you? **(09:27)**

**(09:28)** Yes :)

Arsehole **(09:28)**

Is that really how you wanna celebrate our week-versary? **(09:29)**

**(09:30)** I mean, making fun of you does sound like a great way of celebrating it

Remind me why are we friends again? **(09:31)**

**(09:32)** Because I provide you with attention and sarcastic comments?

Yeah, sounds about right **(09:33)**

Anyway **(09:33)**

I’m gonna figure out a better way to celebrate our week-versary and get back to you **(09:34)**

**(09:35)** I’ll be patiently waiting

-

**The Three Marauders**

**(12:27) Wormtail:** Hey Prongs, is Evans okay?

I can’t believe Snivellus yelled at her in the middle of the Great Hall like that **(12:28)**

How were they ever friends? **(12:28)**

**(12:29) Wormtail:** That’s one of the world’s greatest mysteries, for sure

Anyway, if you find her tell her we’re here for her! **(12:29)**

**(12:29) Wormtail:** Yes!

**(12:31) Prongs:** Hey guys, I’m with her now

**(12:31) Prongs:** She’s thanking you for the support

How is she? **(12:32)**

**(12:33) Prongs:** She says she’s not as pissed as she was when she threw pumpkin juice on him

**(12:34) Prongs:** I guess that’s not much but at least it’s progress?

Ask her if she wants us to provide some marauder style good old fashioned payback **(12:35)**

**(12:35) Wormtail:** Pads, Evans is not gonna want that

**(12:37) Prongs:** Actually

**(12:37) Prongs:** She says go for it

**(12:37) Wormtail:** What

**(12:38) Prongs:** Yeah, I was surprised too, but the idea’s actually lighten her up a bit

**(12:38) Wormtail:** The universe isn’t the same anymore

Whatever, I think it’s brilliant **(12:39)**

Well Gentleman, we can’t let our gorgeous Lily Evans down **(12:39)**

Time to do some brainstorming and planning! **(12:39)**

**(12:40) Prongs:** You should get Moony into this

**(12:40) Prongs:** You mentioned him being very witty and reckoned he would be into pranks, right?

**(12:41) Wormtail:** Oooo yes, that would be interesting!

PRONGS YOU GENIOUS **(12:41)**

That’s actually perfect **(12:42)**

I’ll text him **(12:42)**

-

**Moony**

Moony, I know how to celebrate our week-versary! **(12:43)**

**(12:44)** Oh, do tell me

I’m finally owning up to my word and inviting you to take part in our prank business! **(12:44)**

**(12:45)** So to celebrate our friendship’s week-versary I’ll be helping to install chaos on your fancy boarding school?

Not quite… **(12:45)**

This one’s not only about the chaos **(12:46)**

It’s more of an ordered revenge mission **(12:46)**

**(12:47)** I’m gonna need more information on that?

Remember Lily, Prongs’s crush? Well, now that he can properly talk to her they actually became very good friends. Which means she became good friends with me and Wormtail as well, along with her friends Mary and Marlene (we call them M&M) **(12:49)**

Lily used to be friends with this bloke, Snivellus. Me and the boys never got along with him, he’s been the target of some of our pranks in the past (that’s part of the reason why Lily used not to like us, but that’s irrelevant now). But we’re only as mean to him as he is to us, so I can assure you that’s very much justified **(12:51)**

Anyway, since starting school, Snivellus became friends with some very questionable, traditionalist, bigoted people (some of them are unfortunally related to me, but that’s irrelevant too), and Lily and her friends are the kind of people those arseholes don’t like and pick on, so she and Snivellus grew apart over the years and Lily stopped being friends with him some time ago **(12:53)**

But he’s, like, obsessed with her much? So at the same time he would call her and her friends slurs he would also try to “bring her to his side” to help her “associate with better people”? As if in his very twisted mind he was saving her somehow? **(12:54)**

But anyway, seeing her being friends with us, especially with Prongs, seemed to be kind of a trigger for him, because today at lunch he just walked up to her and yelled at her face. Things like how he couldn’t believe how she could be friends with “such crackheads” and that if she couldn’t see that for herself she “might just be obnoxiously dumb” as if it wasn’t enough that she was “already friends with (insert racist and homophobic slurs here)”, referring to M&M **(12:56)**

She just threw her pumpkin juice at him, yelled back “stay the fuck away from me, you psycho” (which was honestly beautiful to watch), and stormed off the Great Hall **(12:57)**

Prongs went after her to try to help, and kept in touch with Wormtail and I on the gc. I offered to her for us to prank him and she actually was down for that **(12:58)**

And here we are **(12:58)**

**(12:59)** Wow

**(12:59)** This Snivellus looks like a proper bigoted douchebag toxic friend

**(13:00)** I would love to take part in plotting this avengeance for Lily and her friends

Great! **(13:00)**

**(13:01)** Wouldn’t Prongs and Wormtail mind me meddling your plans, though?

Don’t be silly, Moony, of course not! **(13:01)**

They asked for you personally, they’ve actually been waiting for an excuse to meet you **(13:02)**

They’re as excited with your participation as I am **(13:02)**

**(13:03)** I’m flattered? And nervous? I might not be what you guys expect prank-wise

Don’t be nervous, Moony, it’ll be alright, we’re good people **(13:03)**

**(13:04)** Well, you play pranks on bigoted people, so yeah, I consider you guys good people

I’m glad **(13:04)**

Glad that you don’t judge us for doing that and, mainly, glad that you’re not bigoted yourself **(13:05)**

**(13:05)** I could take offense in you even thinking that about me, but again, we don’t know each other that much, so that’s an honest concern. I’m glad you’re not bigoted as well

**(13:06)** Anyway, I’m not bigoted. I’d be a huge hypocrite if I was

Oh? **(13:06)**

**(13:06)** I’m gay

Oh **(13:06)**

**(13:07)** Yeah

Sorry I was slow to get that **(13:07)**

**(13:07)** It’s okay. Not the most oblivious reaction I’ve gotten

Oooo a story **(13:07)**

Care to tell me? **(13:07)**

If it’s an alright story, of course **(13:08)**

**(13:08)** Sure

**(13:08)** It was Alice

**(13:09)** Don’t tell her I told you this story, though, cuz till this day she still feels embarrassed because this was ‘the one thing she didn’t immediately guess about me’ (her words) even though ‘it was the most obvious one’ (Dorcas’s words). And she’s also embarrassed that Frank guessed before she did, and he’s the most oblivious person in our friend group

**(13:09)** Anyway

**(13:09)** For some context, Alice and Frank are dating. Have been for a while now

**(13:10)** But before they started dating, they spent a really long time pining over each other, oblivious to their feelings very much obviously reciprocated. Dorcas and I were eventually done with it, so we cornered Alice (because of the two of them, she would be the one to have the courage of actually doing something)

**(13:12)** We told her he clearly liked her, but she’d put in her head that Frank fancied Emmeline, who at the time was his Chemistry partner, and they were spending a lot of time together because of a project. So I told her that I would fancy Emmeline before Frank did, and that I didn’t even liked girls, for her to see how much Frank didn’t fancy her

**(13:13)** To which she responded with, and I quote, “see, even you would fancy her instead of me!”

**(13:14)** To be fair with Alice, she was quite exasperated at the time, because she was convinced that the guy that she liked was into someone else. Anyway, I responded with “No, Alice, I just told you I don’t like girls, so I really wouldn’t fancy neither of you. Because I’m gay. The same way that Frank wouldn’t fancy Emmeline. Because he likes /you/”

**(13:15)** Then she stared blankly at me for a while. Then she said “holy shit”

**(13:15)** I really thought she was going to say something about me coming out to her, but then she said “Frank likes me!” and turned around and started walking away

**(13:16)** Dorcas and I looked at each other trying to understand wtf just happened when Alice came back yelling “HOLY FUCK YOU JUST CAME OUT TO ME AND I IGNORED YOU I’M SO FUCKING SORRY” and hugged me. Dorcas and I just couldn’t stop laughing

**(13:17)** Frank chose that moment to arrive and asked what was so funny. Dorcas told him Alice had just realized I was gay and he went “she didn’t know that already?” to which Alice gasped, because she couldn’t come around the fact that she was the last to know that, cuz it’s not like I’ve ever hidden my sexuality from any of my friends, so she really was the last one to realize on her on

**(13:18)** So we started to make fun of her, cuz she’s always bragging that she knows everything about us and stuff. When she was done with it she just turned to Frank and said “yeah yeah, let’s go out you and I, shall we?”

**(13:19)** Frank stoped laughing and turned red very quickly, but said yes. The both of them left, and Dorcas and I high fived. They’ve been together ever since

Hahaha that’s a cute love story **(13:19)**

**(13:20)** And also one of the few things we have to hold against Alice

**(13:21)** She hates that the story of how her and her boyfriend got together was also the moment of the most oblivious she has ever been in her life

**(13:21)** Anyway, from that moment on everyone was aware that our friend group was 50% queer

**(13:22)** 50% cuz Dorcas is bi

Got it **(13:22)**

I **(13:22)**

Question my sexuality sometimes **(13:23)**

A lot **(13:23)**

I don’t really understand it **(13:23)**

**(13:23)** That’s okay

**(13:24)** Not everyone has it figured out

I just **(13:24)**

I grew up in this really crazy conservative bigoted family. And I don’t share their beliefs, like, at all. I don’t even live with them anymore, I spend summer at prongs’ and his parents treat me better than mine ever did. But like, I wonder if the ideals they raised me in are still stuck with me somehow and that’s why I can’t seem to just sort things out. Or if there isn’t anything to sort at all, and I’m actually straight but want not to be just because that would piss of my birth parents. Cuz I actually like pissing them off a lot. But then I realize I actually feel things? But don’t understand exactly what I feel? Or what exactly I should feel in order to figure it out? **(13:27)**

Anyway, it just really gets in my head sometimes **(13:28)**

Sorry to just let it out on you **(13:28)**

I’ve never talked to anyone about it **(13:29)**

**(13:29)** First of all, don’t you dare apologize

**(13:30)** Second, I’m sorry for your birth family, and I’m really glad for Prongs and his parents

**(13:30)** Now, about sexuality

**(13:33)** The first thing I need you to keep in mind is that sexuality is fluid. It’s not black on white. Your feelings are valid no matter what they are. And labels technically shouldn’t be necessary, but people hold on to them because there’s comfort in knowing that what you are, what you feel, has a name, and that there are other people out there who are like you, that there’s a community. But you don’t need to, like, pick a label and stick to it for the rest of your life. You can come and go as you like, and it’s okay to change your mind. It’s all about what makes you confortable, there are no rules to it, really. There’s no wrong answer, your sexuality is yours to tell

**(13:35)** For example, and I’m only telling you this cuz I know she doesn’t mind, Dorcas took a really long time to actually start calling herself bisexual. She spent years of her life not quite considering herself as straight but without being able to actually state that she liked girls because she had never kissed one before and she thought she needed to have some kind of experience to actually say that she was attracted to girls. After years of considering herself ‘undefined’ she finally called herself bisexual, even though she still hadn’t have any experience with a girl, because after doing research on the subject of sexuality and becoming more mature to understand it better, she figured that when she was younger she knew she liked boys even before she kissed one, and nobody questioned that, so why should it be different with linking girls? “Gender is a social construct. People are people and people are hot”, is what she says

**(13:36)** Well, now I’m the one who’s sorry for talking too much

Don’t you fucking dare apologize **(13:36)**

This really helped me, Moony. Like a lot **(13:37)**

I might still not have all the answers I’d like to have, but this is the most promising and validated I’ve ever felt about myself **(13:37)**

Thank you so much, Moony **(13:38)**

**(13:38)** Anytime, Padfoot

**(13:39)** Society does make sexuality something harder than it actually should be, so I’m really glad I could help you

You really really did, Moony. Thank you **(13:40)**

Anyway **(13:40)**

Me and the boys need to get to some afternoon activities now **(13:41)**

I’ll text you later to talk avengeance? **(13:41)**

**(13:41)** Sure thing :)

Perfect :) **(13:41)**

Later, Moony! **(13:42)**

**(13:42)** Later, Padfoot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexuality is a very important topic to me. Dorcas's story is my own story. But like, very simplified. Anyway, I'm sorry if reading about it was kind of exausting, but I did write about some of the things that helped me figure myself out, and I do think those are things that people who are struggling should hear. It certainly was a light in my life when I heard them.
> 
> On another note, SOME PRANK BUSINESS GOING DOWN NEXT CHAPTER  
> And I do not like Snape. At all. Sue me.
> 
> And that's it, now I gotta go get some sleep because I've got class tomorrow but stayed up late to finish writting this cuz I'M STUBBORN LIKE THAT


	8. The Four Marauders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days!  
> Don't get used to it though rs  
> It just so happens that Mondays are usually a good day for me to write
> 
> Anyway, The Marauders united at last! :)

** Thursday **

** Remus’s Phone **

****

**Padfoot**

**(19:34)** Hey Moony

**(19:34)** Are you ready to start plotting our vendetta?

As ready as I could be, I guess **(19:37)**

**(19:38)** So, I talked to the lads and we think it would be easier to add you to our gc

**(19:38)** Is that okay with you?

Oh **(19:38)**

I mean, sure, I guess it would be fine **(19:39)**

**(19:39)** Of course it’ll be fine, Moony, stop being nervous!

**(19:39)** I’m gonna add you now

Oh god, I’m about to meet new people **(19:40)**

**-**

**The Three Marauders**

_Padfoot added Moony to the conversation_

**(19:40) Padfoot:** Moony, meet Wormtail and Prongs!

**(19:40) Padfoot:** Guys, be nice to Moony!

**(19:41) Unknown Number:** Hi, Moony, this is Prongs!

**(19:41) Unknown Number:** Hey, mate! Wormtail here

**(19:41) Prongs:** It’s so nice to finally meet you!

**(19:42) Wormtail:** Yeah, Pads doesn’t shut up about you

**(19:42) Padfoot:** Wormtail! I told you to behave!

Hey, guys! It’s nice to meet you too! **(19:42)**

I gotta ask about the name of the gc, though **(19:42)**

**(19:43) Prongs:** Oh, it’s like The Three Musketeers

**(19:43) Prongs:** But Marauders!

Marauders? **(19:43)**

**(19:43) Padfoot:** Yeah, it’s how we call ourselves

**(19:44) Padfoot:** Have I never mentioned that before?

No, you didn’t **(19:44)**

Is this a gang? **(19:44)**

Am I being initiated? **(19:44)**

**(19:44) Prongs:** Yes

**(19:44) Wormtail:** Yes

**(19:44) Padfoot:** Yes

Oh **(19:45)**

Okay, that’s fine **(19:45)**

**(19:45) Prongs:** I like him

**(19:45) Wormtail:** Me too

**(19:46) Padfoot:** Great!

**(19:46) Padfoot:** Now

**(19:46) Padfoot:** Let’s get down to business!

**(19:47) Wormtail:** To defeat the Huns!

**(19:47) Padfoot:** Wormy, now is not the time

**(19:47) Prongs:** Did they send me daughters?

**(19:48) Padfoot:** PRONGS

When I asked for sons **(19:48)**

**(19:48) Padfoot:** Oh no Moony not you too

**(19:49) Prongs:** You’re the saddest bunch I’ve ever met

But you can bet before we’re through **(19:49)**

**(19:49) Wormtail:** Mister, I’ll…

**(19:50) Padfoot:**...

**(19:50) Prongs:** …

… **(19:50)**

**(19:50) Padfoot:** *sigh*

**(19:50) Padfoot:** Make a man out of you

**(19:51) Wormtail:** YES

**(19:52) Prongs:** MULAN SUPREMACY ALL THE WAY

**(19:52) Padfoot:** ARE YOU DONE NOW??

**(19:52) Prongs:** Yes, we are, Pads. Please proceed

**(19:52) Padfoot:** Thank you

**(19:52) Padfoot:** Ahem, as I was saying

**(19:53) Padfoot:** Gentleman, you must be wondering why I gathered you all here today

Not really **(19:53)**

**(19:53) Wormtail:** Yeah Pads, we all know why we’re here

**(19:54) Padfoot:** WILL YOU JUST LET ME DO MY THING

**(19:54) Prongs:** No

**(19:54) Wormtail:** No

No **(19:54)**

**(19:55) Padfoot:** Moony, I don’t like you teaming up with them

Honestly, what did you expect? **(19:55)**

**(19:55) Padfoot:** …fair

**(19:56) Padfoot:** Fine.

**(19:56) Padfoot:** Pranking Snivellus brainstorming. Go!

**(19:57) Wormtail:** Ants on his pillow?

**(19:57) Prongs:** Where would we get ants?

**(19:57) Wormtail:** Outside?

**(19:58) Padfoot:** Not practical. Next!

Didn’t Lily throw pumpkin juice at him? **(19:58)**

**(19:58) Prongs:** She did. It was brilliant. She’s brilliant

**(19:58) Padfoot:** Prongs this is not the time for being an idiot in love

**(19:58) Prongs:** Oi! She talks to me now!

**(19:59) Prongs:** (Thanks, Moony, btw)

(You’re welcome) **(19:59)**

**(19:59) Padfoot:** WAIT

**(19:59) Padfoot:** Moony, are you suggesting something pumpkin themed?

**(19:59) Wormtail:** Oooo that’s a good idea

**(20:00) Wormtail:** He did spend the rest of the day complaining about smelling like pumpkin

**(20:00) Padfoot:** YES, that’s promising!

**(20:01) Padfoot:** Did you have anything specific in mind, Moony?

Not too specific, but can you, like, make his shampoo smell like pumpkin? **(20:01)**

**(20:02) Prongs:** Shampoo wouldn’t be the best way to go

**(20:02) Wormtail:** Yeah, we call him Snivellus cuz, judging by his hair, we highly doubt he knows what shampoo is

Ew **(20:02)**

**(20:02) Padfoot:** Yeah. Ew. Just be glad you’ve never had the unpleasure of meeting him

**(20:03) Padfoot:** Anyway, shampoo is out of the question. BUT HIS CLOTHES THOUGH

**(20:03) Prongs:** YES that can definitely be arranged!

**(20:04) Padfoot:** We would just need to flood the Slytherin dormitories again, so that all of their clothes would go to the laundry. Then we just sneak into the laundries and add some pumpkin scent in the place of soap

**(20:04) Wormtail:** And why stop on Snivellus? We could get all the bigoted Slytherins in the process!

**(20:04) Prongs:** YES

**(20:04) Padfoot:** YES

I have so many questions **(20:05)**

**(20:05) Padfoot:** Shoot!

1- Flooding dormitories? Isn’t that dangerous and complicated?

2- Again?

3- What the hell is a Slytherin? **(20:06)**

**(20:08)** 1 **-** The Slytherin dormitories are next to the Great Lake and the whole irrigation system, so it’s actually easy and harmless to flood them

2- Yes, we’ve done it before, so we know it’s not dangerous and we can make it seem like an accident. They’ll just have to camp on the gymnasium for one, maybe two days, and their clothes will have to go to the laundries. We flood their dormitories like an annual event and we’ve never been caught so far. We haven’t done it this year yet, so it’s actually perfect

3- The school divides the students in four houses, Slytherin is one of them. We’re all Gryffindors. There’s also Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Slytherin is the house with the highest amount of traditionalists and bigoted people. Not all of them, though, so we kinda feel bad when we target Slytherin as a whole, such as flooding their dorms, but it’s for the greater good and since no actual harm is done we think it’s worth it. And usually we just target Snivellus and his gang

I feel very overwhelmed right now **(20:09)**

You really managed to flood an entire set of dorms on a year basis without getting caught? **(20:09)**

**(20:09) Prongs:** Yep

**(20:09) Wormtail:** And we take a lot of pride on that

**(20:10) Padfoot:** I told you you’d be surprised with the amount of things you can get away with at a boarding school

Not gonna lie, I’m very impressed **(20:10)**

**(20:11) Padfoot:** Aww Moony :)

**(20:11) Prongs:** You flatter us!

**(20:12) Wormtail:** Are we really gonna ignore the even BIGGER amount of stuff we’ve been caught on and given detention for?

Now that makes more sense **(20:12)**

**(20:12) Padfoot:** Wormy! Moony didn’t have to know that!

**(20:13) Wormtail:** Shit, sorry!

Anyway **(20:13)**

So pumpkin scented clothes it is? Can you really sneak into the laundries? **(20:13)**

**(20:14) Prongs:** Oh yeah, sneaking into places in the middle of the night without getting caught is our specialty

**(20:14) Padfoot:** We have all the professors and prefects schedules memorized

**(20:14) Wormtail:** And the map of the school that we made

… **(20:15)**

Okay, I’m back to being impressed **(20:15)**

**(20:15) Padfoot:** Yay :)

**(20:16) Prongs:** Moony, I just want you to know that we’re all in our dorm and that you just made Pads blush

**(20:16) Padfoot:** PRONGS

**(20:16) Padfoot:** I’M NOT BLUSHING

**(20:17) Prongs:** Yes you are, you were also smiling like I do when Lilyfjhvgzdi

Is Prongs okay, did he just have a stroke? **(20:17)**

**(20:18) Wormtail:** He’s okay, Pads just threw a pillow at his face

Isn’t that how you guys broke a window? **(20:18)**

**(20:18) Wormtail:** Yes. We clearly haven’t learnt our lesson

Fair point. **(20:18)**

**(20:19) Padfoot:** Anyway, BACK TO BUSINESS

**(20:19) Padfoot:** Pumpkin scented clothing.

**(20:20) Prongs:** So the only thing we need to sort out is buying pumpkin scent?

**(20:20) Wormtail:** sounds like it

**(20:21) Padfoot:** Get in, losers, we’re going shopping this weekend!

**(20:21) Wormtail:** Yay!

**(20:22) Prongs:** Should we invite the girls?

**(20:22) Padfoot:** Oh yes, they’re so pissed at Snivellus they’ll definitely want in

**(20:22) Prongs:** Perfect! We’ll talk to them tomorrow

**(20:23) Wormtail:** Everything is settled then?

**(20:23) Prongs:** Sounds like it

Should I leave this gc then? **(20:23)**

**(20:23) Padfoot:** ABSOLUTELY NOT!

**(20:24) Wormtail:** Yeah, mate, how are you gonna know how things pan out?

**(20:24) Prongs:** Plus, you’re one of us now. You’ve been initiated, remember?

**(20:25) Padfoot:** All in favor of making Moony our official fourth marauder say Aye!

**(20:25) Prongs:** Aye!

**(20:25) Wormtail:** Aye!

**(20:25) Padfoot:** It’s settled.

_Padfoot changed the name of the group to ‘The Four Marauders’_

Aw you guys :) **(20:26)**

-

**Padfoot**

**(20:28)** See? I told you everything would be fine!

I like your friends **(20:28)**

**(20:28)** And they like you

**(20:29)** Plus, they’re your friends too now. You’re an honorary marauder!

Yeah, just do me a favor and don’t get caught. These messages prove I’m an accomplice **(20:29)**

**(20:29)** We never get caught ;)

You’re aware that Wormtail did mention you detention history, right? **(20:30)**

**(20:30)** I chose to ignore that bit, so I don’t know what you’re talking about

Of course you did **(20:30)**

Anyway, I’m gonna go do some homework before going to sleep. Talk tomorrow? **(20:31)**

**(20:31)** Sure

**(20:31)** Good night Moony!

Good night Padfoot! **(20:32)**

**-**

** Sirius’s Phone **

****

**Prongsie**

**(23:14)** Pete is asleep

**(23:14)** Wanna talk about the blushing?

Shhh **(23:16)**

I’m sleeping **(23:16)**

**(23:16)** Of course you are

**(23:17)** I’m ready when you are, mate

_[seen]_ **(23:17)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got Mulan, Mean Girls and TikTok references. I live for the references!


	9. A Test and a Misinterpretation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are 9 chapters into this fic, and you know what I’ve ONLY NOW REALIZED??? The way I tell time.
> 
> Like, if I want to write 5:30pm I write 17:30. And if I want to write 9:30am I just write 09:30 and give no indication whether it’s am or pm because to me it’s obviously am since 9:30pm is 21:30.
> 
> The reason why it took me so long to notice it is because that’s how we tell time in Brazil. I do agree that the whole am/pm system is more intuitive, but that’s just how it’s been my entire life and it’s so natural to me to tell time like that (I think it’s called military timing, but I’m not sure??). I don’t know how common it is for the rest of the world, though.
> 
> Anyway, I’m gonna keep telling time the way I’ve been doing so far, cuz I don’t wanna change it half way and neither do I want to edit everything I’ve written so far. 
> 
> So, for future references:  
> Time periods between 00:00-11:59 are always am  
> And time periods between 12:00-23:59 are its equivalent in pm
> 
> And I’m not explaining this because I think the rest of the world doesn’t understand it, it’s just that I REALLY DON’T KNOW how many other places tell time like that.
> 
> Anyway, that’s it, hope you like the chapter :)

** Friday **

** Remus’s Phone **

****

**The Four Marauders**

**(08:48) Wormtail:** Lads, what’s the answer to no. 4?

 **(08:50) Prongs:** Shit, I need that one too. I remember nothing Vector said about what’s a Blue Moon

 **(08:51) Padfoot:** It’s the name given to the second Full Moon in a month

 **(08:52) Wormtail:** That simple? Gee, thanks Pads!

 **(08:52) Padfoot:** Np

Aw you remembered **(08:54)**

 **(08:56) Padfoot:** Moony, that’s the whole reason why I call you Moony, of course I remembered!

 **(08:56) Padfoot:** WAIT

 **(08:57) Padfoot:** MOONY YOU’RE HERE AND YOU LOVE ASTRONOMY

 **(08:58) Prongs:** AND YOU WAITED TILL NOW TO TELL US THERE’S AN ASTRONOMY EXPERT IN THIS GC??? PADFOOT YOU AMATEUR!

 **(08:59) Padfoot:** DON’T CALL ME AN AMATEUR

 **(08:59) Wormtail:** MOONY WHICH PLANET HAS THE HIGHEST GRAVITY IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM?

Jupiter **(09:00)**

 **(09:00) Prongs:** Okay, good, I got that one right

Are you guys taking a test? **(09:01)**

 **(09:05) Padfoot:** Yep. Physics. The subject is Astronomy

 **(09:06) Prongs:** Pads and I just handed ours, how you doin Wormy?

 **(09:07) Wormtail:** The moons of Mars, one is Phobos, what’s the other?

Deimos **(09:07)**

 **(09:09) Wormtail:** Okay, I handed mine as well

 **(09:10) Wormtail:** Thank you so much Moony, I thought I was gonna fail this test

 **(09:10) Prongs:** You say that about every test but end up doing fine every time, you wanker

 **(09:11) Prongs:** But really, Moony, thanks for helping!

It’s okay **(09:11)**

I wish I was having Astronomy. We’re studying lens in Physics atm **(09:12)**

 **(09:12) Prongs:** Oooo I like that subject!

 **(09:13) Padfoot:** Yeah, we were super excited when we learned that Prongs’s glasses have the right kind of lens to converge light

Oh god, please tell me you haven’t set anything on fire **(09:14)**

 **(09:14) Prongs:** Oh no, we’re not arsonists

 **(09:14) Wormtail:** allegedly

 **(09:14) Prongs:** It’s just good to know that if we were ever to be stuck at a desert island we would be able to light up a fire

That’s **(09:15)**

At least half reassuring **(09:15)**

 **(09:16) Padfoot:** Give us some credit, Moony

 **(09:16) Padfoot:** Anyway, now that I have all of you here

 **(09:16) Wormtail:** Oh god, here goes Pads with his shenanigans

 **(09:16) Prongs:** What now, Padfoot? We’re already planning a shopping spree for pranks this weekend

 **(09:17) Wormtail:** Yeah, those are our rules, one prank at a time

You have rules? **(09:17)**

 **(09:17) Prongs:** Of course we do, this isn’t mother Joana’s house

 **(09:18) Padfoot:** COULD I PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION

 **(09:18) Padfoot:** This is nothing prank related

 **(09:19) Padfoot:** I just wanted to inform you all

 **(09:20) Padfoot:** That I’m bisexual

Good for you, Pads :) **(09:20)**

 **(09:20) Wormtail:** Yeah, we already know you speak French, what’s new about that?

 **(09:21) Prongs:** PETER YOU IMBECILE THAT’S BILINGUAL

 **(09:21) Wormtail:** OH FUCK SIRIUS I’M SO SORRY!!!

 **(09:21) Padfoot:** HAHAHAHA I’M TRYING SO HARD NOT TO LAUGH AT LOUD RIGHT NOW

 **(09:22) Prongs:** ME TOO OH MY GOD HAHAHAHA

Am I allowed to laugh too? **(09:22)**

 **(09:22) Prongs:** YES YOU ARE, MATE HAHAHA

Great, cuz THIS WAS GOLD HAHAHAHA **(09:22)**

 **(09:23) Padfoot:** Oh fuck-

 **(09:23) Padfoot:** James, keep it together, Vector is looking suspicious

 **(09:23) Prongs:** Oh, shit, sorry

 **(09:24) Prongs:** Anyway, after this amazing comic relief provided by our dear Wormy

 **(09:24) Prongs:** Thanks for telling us, mate!

 **(09:25) Wormtail:** Yeah, we love you no matter what and all that shit!

 **(09:25) Padfoot:** Aw you guys :’)

-

**Alice**

**(09:21)** Rem, you look like you’re about to explode, what’s up?

Padfoot just came out as bisexual and one of his friends thought he meant bilingual **(09:21)**

I’m trying so fucking hard not to laugh **(09:21)**

 **(09:22)**!!!!!

I know, too fucking funny!! **(09:23)**

 **(09:23)** No!

 **(09:23)** I mean, yes, it is, but not what I meant!

? **(09:23)**

Oh shit **(09:24)**

 **(09:24)** Oh yeah

Oh no **(09:24)**

 **(09:24)** Oh yes

 **(09:24)** LOVER BOY LIKES BOYS

I instantly regret telling you this **(09:25)**

 **(09:25)** Remus

Nop, I refuse **(09:25)**

 **(09:25)** Lupin

I’m removing myself from this conversation **(09:25)**

 **(09:25)** Suit yourself

 **(09:26)** I’m sitting right beside you, you have nowhere to run.

Fuck. **(09:26)**

-

**Padfoot**

Sorry I only managed to text you now **(18:03)**

I had to focus on school, and also Alice, who wouldn’t leave me alone **(18:04)**

 **(18:38)** It’s okay. Sorry it took me long to reply, I was in practice

 **(18:38)** Why wouldn’t Alice leave you alone?

That’s irrelevant **(18:39)**

Hey, Padfoot? **(18:39)**

 **(19:40)** Yeah?

I’m proud of you :) **(18:40)**

 **(18:40)** Thanks Moony :)

 **(18:41)** And thanks for the talk the other day too. The “sexuality is fluid” thing really helped me

 **(18:41)** And also Dorcas’s “people are people and people are hot”

HAH **(18:42)**

She would be thrilled to know that **(18:42)**

 **(18:42)** Feel free to tell her

Will do **(18:42)**

Anyway, there’s something else I came here to discuss with you **(18:43)**

 **(18:43)** Go ahead

Is your name really Sirius? Is that why you asked me about the brightest star in the sky the other day? **(18:44)**

 **(18:45)** How do you-

 **(18:45)** Oh

 **(18:46)** The gc

Yeah **(18:46)**

 **(18:47)** Wow it really did take me the whole day to realize we actually said our names

 **(18:47)** But

 **(18:47)** Yeah

 **(18:48)** That’s why I made you the star question

Sirius **(18:48)**

 **(18:48)** That’s my name

Sirius **(18:48)**

 **(18:49)** Yep. You can blame that on my pretentious birth family

Sirius **(18:49)**

 **(18:49)** Ok, now it just feels like you’re mocking me

Sorry, I just can’t believe I found someone with a name as ridiculous as mine **(18:50)**

 **(18:50)**!!!

 **(18:50)** Okay, you now have the obligation of telling me your name right this instant!!!

Remus **(18:51)**

 **(18:51)** Remus

Remus **(18:51)**

 **(18:51)** As in the roman myth?

Precisely **(18:52)**

 **(18:52)** As in the myth with the wolf?

Yep **(18:52)**

 **(18:52)** And I didn’t previously know that but still named you Moony?

 **(18:53)** Damn, I’m good

Yeah, you must be psychic **(18:53)**

 **(18:54)** So

 **(18:54)** Here we are

 **(18:55)** The wolf and the star

The wolf and the star **(18:55)**

What are the odds **(18:56)**

 **(18:56)** HAH

 **(18:57)** Nice to meet you, Remus :)

Nice to meet you, Sirius :) **(18:57)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SIM EU ESCREVI CASA DA MÃE JOANA EM INGLÊS  
> Ahem- "this isn't mother Joana's house" means something like "this isn't a madhouse/no man's land"
> 
> And we have naaaames :)


	10. Way to go, Aphrodite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in less than 24 hours because I was feeling inspired today :)  
> Also because I'm postponing college assignments rs
> 
> And I also need to say  
> I've got so many comments last chapter, and that made me so fucking happy!  
> (I didn't post another chapter today just because of the amount of comments, I would have done it either way)
> 
> Really, I get so happy everytime there's a new comment! I smile to every single one of them, wheter it's you guys telling me I'm doing a good job, or laughing at my jokes and references, or telling me you actually googled if ice is a rock hahaha
> 
> AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHEN I SEE COMMENTS IN PORTUGUESE. Sério, eu fico feliz pra caralho aushaush adoro ver vocês entendendo e gostando das minhas referências. EU NÃO SEI EXPLICAR, eu só acho tão engraçado traduzir expressões brasileiras pro inglês de forma literal aushaush de verdade, muito obrigada pelo carinho <3
> 
> Anyway, thank you guys so much for all the kudos and all the love, I'm really enjoying interacting with you and seeing that you're liking the story I'm creating with so much love. Also, thanks for making my day, you guys are the best <3
> 
> With that being said, here's the chapter, hope you like it!

** Friday (Bonus) **

** Sirius’s Phone **

****

**Prongsie**

**(22:39)** So

**(22:39)** You’re bi, huh

Just ask what you really wanna ask, James **(22:40)**

**(22:40)** Okay

**(22:41)** Are you ready to talk about the blushing yet?

No **(22:41)**

…not yet **(22:42)**

**(22:42)** That’s alright

**(22:42)** Just know that I’m here for you, mate

I know **(22:43)**

Thanks **(22:43)**

-

** Saturday **

** Remus’s Phone **

****

**Padfoot**

**(11:02)** Rise and shine, Moonbeam!

Sirius, you know my name now **(11:09)**

**(11:10)** Which doesn’t mean you get to live out your nickname, Moonymine

**(11:10)** Now come and wish me good morning on this beautiful day!

Good morning **(11:10)**

**(11:11)** You haven’t had your coffee yet? Come on, why so emotionless??

Good morning, my sweet Paddywack! **(11:11)**

**(11:12)** Now that’s better!

What got you so excited this morning? **(11:12)**

**(11:12)** Pranking shopping spree! I always get excited with pranking business!

Oh, right, you’re doing that today **(11:13)**

**(11:13)** Yes, we’re getting ready to head to the bus stop

**(11:14)** The girls agreed to go with us, and Mary says she knows this great bath store in the mall that has all kinds of scents, so they should have pumpkin

**(11:14)** And they better have, cuz we’re buying the lot!

Lucky store **(11:15)**

**(11:15)** Lucky indeed!

**(11:16)** Anyway, we’re leaving now

Fill me up later! **(11:16)**

**(11:16)** Of course, Moony, you’re part of this! You’re gonna get all the sordid details!

Great, cuz I want a full report, soldier **(11:17)**

**(11:17)** Aye, captain Remus!

-

**Fantastic Four**

**(11:28) Alice:** Hey losers

**(11:28) Alice:** Who’s up for a just dance party at my house later today?

**(11:29) Dorcas:** Sorry love, that’s a no from me. Mum asked for help at the store today

**(11:30) Alice:** Oooo did more of those galaxy bath bombs arrive yet?

**(11:30) Dorcas:** Yes, we got a new lot just yesterday

**(11:30) Alice:** Can you get me two? I’ll pay you Monday?

**(11:31) Dorcas:** Sure thing

**(11:31) Frank:** Can I have that lavender one?

**(11:32) Dorcas:** Yes, I’ll get it

**(11:32) Dorcas:** Rem, you want anything from the store while we’re at it?

Oh, no thanks, I’m good **(11:33)**

**(11:33) Dorcas:** Not even those bath bubbles I got you for your bday last year?

…maybe **(11:34)**

...if you have those **(11:34)**

**(11:35) Dorcas:** I’ll pack it for you

**(11:35) Dorcas:** Just all you guys remember to bring me the money for everything on Monday

**(11:36) Alice:** Of course, sweetie, thank you

**(11:36) Alice:** Anyway, what about a just dance party tomorrow, then?

Didn’t Frank say he had a family thing tomorrow? **(11:37)**

**(11:37) Dorcas:** And didn’t you say you were going with him to said family thing?

**(11:37) Alice:** Oh shit, that’s right

**(11:37) Alice:** Sorry, babe

**(11:38) Frank:** It’s okay, babe

**(11:38) Frank:** Why don’t we have a just dance party next weekend?

**(11:39) Alice:** Everyone free next Saturday?

**(11:39) Dorcas:** Yep

**(11:39) Frank:** Yep

Do I have a choice? **(11:39)**

**(11:39) Alice:** Nop

**(11:39) Dorcas:** Nop

**(11:39) Frank:** Nop

Then yep **(11:39)**

**(11:40) Alice:** Great. Get ready to have your arses kicked!

**(11:40) Dorcas:** Ha! You wish Fortesc-

**(11:40) Dorcas:** Oh god

**(11:41) Alice:** Dorc?

**(11:41) Dorcas:** I’ll get back to you in a moment

Is she okay? **(11:42)**

**(11:42) Alice:** Idk she didn’t even finish my last name

**(11:42) Frank:** Yeah, she always takes trash talk very seriously

**(11:43) Alice:** Oh and SPEAKING OF SERIOUSLY

Oh fuck **(11:43)**

**(11:43) Alice:** Guess what’s Remus’s Lover Boy name?

**(11:43) Frank:** Oooo gossip! Spill!

Why Alice **(11:44)**

**(11:44) Alice:** Our dearest Astronomy geek friend has found himself a boy named Sirius

**(11:45) Frank:** Oh my god, isn’t that the brightest star in the sky or something

It is **(11:45)**

And my geek arse regrets ever giving you that information **(11:46)**

**(11:46) Alice:** AND THAT’S NOT ALL

Alice, please don’t **(11:46)**

**(11:47) Frank:** Alice, please do

**(11:47) Alice:** Lover Boy Sirius Brightest Star In The Sky is

**(11:47) Alice:** Drumrolls, please

No **(11:48)**

**(11:48) Frank:** *drumrolls excitedly*

I hate you **(11:48)**

**(11:48) Alice:** Bisexual!

**(11:49) Frank:** Oh my- REMUS YOU’RE ALL SET

**(11:49) Dorcas:** HOLY SHIT IF THIS ISN’T MEANT TO BE I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!

OH FOR THIS YOU COME BACK?? **(11:50)**

**(11:50) Dorcas:** OF COURSE!!!

**(11:50) Alice:** Rem

**(11:50) Alice:** Priorities

**(11:50) Alice:** But also

**(11:51) Alice:** Dorc, what happened to you?

**(11:51) Dorcas:** Oh, I met a girl

**(11:51) Frank:** WHAT

WHAT **(11:51)**

**(11:51) Alice:** WHAT

**(11:52) Alice:** Care to elaborate???

**(11:53) Dorcas:** This group of people walked into the store. There was this really cute girl, I couldn’t stop staring

**(11:53) Dorcas:** Then she walked up to me and do you know what she said?

**(11:53) Alice:** What??

**(11:54) Alice:** C’mon I’m dying to know!!!

**(11:54) Dorcas:** ‘Hey Adora’. SHE SAID HEY ADORA

OH MY GOD SHE PULLED A CATRA **(11:54)**

**(11:55) Dorcas:** YES SHE STRAIGHT UP WENT ALL CATRA ON ME

**(11:55) Dorcas:** Well, not so straight

**(11:55) Alice:** kgjggijbjg

**(11:56) Alice:** I don’t know what a catra is but this sounds cute

**(11:56) Frank:** Should I know what a catra is?

Nah, you’re straight, you most likely wouldn’t **(11:56)**

**(11:57) Alice:** And what happened next??

**(11:57) Dorcas:** I went all giggly

**(11:58) Dorcas:** Cuz that’s what you do when a cute girl Hey Adora you

Obviously **(11:58)**

**(11:58) Frank:** Yeah, obviously…

**(11:58) Dorcas:** Then we flirted a bit and I gave her my number

**(11:59) Dorcas:** Her friends showed up and I registered their purchases

**(11:59) Dorcas:** Shortly after they all left, but she FUCKING WINKED AT ME before leaving

**(12:00) Alice:** Oh my god jgmifngj

**(12:00) Dorcas:** Yep

**(12:01) Dorcas:** Get ready, cuz if things go right you’ll be hearing a lot more about her

**(12:01) Alice:** Oh yeah, you better tell us everything!

We’re so happy for you, Dorc! **(12:01)**

**(12:01) Frank:** We hope things go right!

**(12:02) Alice:** Oh, yeah, that too!

**(12:02) Dorcas:** Aw thanks, you guys :)

**(12:03) Dorcas:** Now, back to Lover Boy being named after a star

**(12:03) Alice:** YES

WHAT- **(12:03)**

Just like that we’re over with Dorcas but you won’t leave me alone??? **(12:04)**

**(12:04) Alice:** Dorcas is not in denial

Oh for fucks sake **(12:04)**

**(12:04) Dorcas:** Should we start calling him Star Boy instead now?

**(12:05) Frank:** Would that mean we would have to stop singing ‘Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy’ to Remus?

YES PLEASE **(12:05)**

**(12:05) Alice:** Fair point, we can’t let that happen

I hate you **(12:05)**

**(12:05) Dorcas:** Isn’t there a song by The Weeknd called ‘Starboy’?

So much **(12:05)**

**(12:06) Alice:** There is, but… Queen

**(12:06) Dorcas:** Yeah, you’re right

**(12:06) Dorcas:** We’re sticking to Lover Boy, then. All in favor?

**(12:07) Alice:** Yes

**(12:07) Frank:** Yes

NO **(12:07)**

**(12:07) Dorcas:** Lover Boy it is!

I hate all of you **(12:08)**

**(12:08) Alice:** No you don’t

No I don’t **(12:08)**

But really, can’t you just let it go? He’s just my friend **(12:09)**

**(12:09) Dorcas:** For now.

I give up **(12:09)**

**(12:11) Alice:** You know what, Remus, you’re always saying that he’s just a friend, but that’s it. Those are your exact words every time. Now, you never, at any point, said something in the lines of ‘I only like him as a friend’. What do you have to say about that?

**(12:11) Frank:** She’s got a really fair point there, mate

**(12:12) Dorcas:** True. We’ve bugged you about this boy lots of times, but you never phrased it like that

**(12:13) Alice:** Rem?

Dad says lunch is ready, gtg **(12:14)**

**(12:14) Alice:** REMUS

**(12:15) Dorcas:** He’s offline

**(12:15) Alice:** Whatever. If he’s running away is because we got him

**(12:16) Alice:** DAMN IT I’M GOOD

-

**Padfoot**

**(17:12)** Reeemmuuuuusss

**(17:12)** We’re back to school

**(17:12)** SO MUCH HAPPENED TODAY

**(17:15)** Remus?

**(17:19)** MOOONNNYYYY

**(17:19)** WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOOOOU

Christ, Padfoot **(17:20)**

I was in the shower **(17:20)**

You could’ve just told me, I would read it eventually! **(17:21)**

**(17:21)** But I wanted your reactions!

**(17:22)** It’s better that way!

Sure it is **(17:22)**

So, you got me properly hyped up, what happened? **(17:23)**

**(17:23)** OH MY WHERE TO BEGIN

How about chronologically? **(17:24)**

**(17:24)** Yeah, that’s a good call

**(17:24)** So

**(17:25)** We got to the mall and went straight to the bath store, right

**(17:27)** First shocking, yet not so shocking, thing that happened today: while the rest of us was engaged in the mission of gathering every bit of pumpkin scent that store owned, including what was back in the storage, Marlene was too busy flirting with de cashier

Way to go, Marlene! **(17:27)**

**(17:28)** I know, the audacity!

Not how I meant it **(17:28)**

**(17:28)** Yeah, I know

**(17:29)** Anyway, she did get the girl’s number, so good for her indeed

**(17:29)** Moving on

Let’s hear it **(17:29)**

**(17:31)** After Mission Buying Pumpkin Scent was completed, we moved on to Mission We’re All Hungry And Need To Eat, so we headed to the food court. But everyone wanted different things so we parted ways. James and Lily wanted tacos, Pete and Marlene wanted chinese, and Mary and I wanted KFC

I love KFC **(17:31)**

**(17:31)** Right? It’s delicious

**(17:31)** Anyway

**(17:33)** Mary and I got our orders and met with Pete and Marlene at a table. We were eating and after a while we started wondering what happened to James and Lily, cuz it was taking them too long. Eventually, they showed up, and, second shocking, and this one is really shocking, fact of the day: THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS

Oh my, are you telling me- **(17:34)**

**(17:34)** We asked them about it and, third shocking fact of the day, THE MOST SHOCKING ONE, they said they didn’t went straight up to the tacos. They talked for a while. And then they kissed. MOONY THEY KISSED. And then Lily said they’re now dating. DATING. D A T I N G.

Dating **(17:35)**

**(17:35)** PRECISELY

Padfoot, are you okay? **(17:36)**

**(17:36)** Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?

YOUR ALARMED REACTION MAYBE **(17:36)**

It just gives me a vibe **(17:37)**

**(17:37)** Yeah, I guess that’s fair

**(17:37)** I just-

**(17:38)** I mean, less than two weeks ago he couldn’t even talk to her properly

**(17:38)** And now they’re dating

**(17:39)** Don’t get me wrong, I’m bloody happy for him, I’ve never seen that much joy in his face. Like, he hasn’t stopped smiling ever since. Looks painful, actually. But I know he’s liked her for years, and since they became friends they actually got along really well, so I’m really happy for them

**(17:40)** It’s just

**(17:40)** Was it supposed to be this easy?

Sirius, you told me Lily couldn’t even stand James for years. That definitely doesn’t sound easy **(17:41)**

**(17:41)** Yeah, but

**(17:42)** They’ve been friends for like a week and now they’re dating

**(17:42)** They were alone for less than an hour and came back dating

**(17:43)** Marlene walked into that store and straight up flirted with the cashier and got her number

Yeah, I see what you mean **(17:43)**

I mean, I get it **(17:44)**

Dorcas met a girl today as well **(17:44)**

**(17:45)** Today was a very productive day for romance, wasn’t it?

Yeah. Way to go, Aphrodite. **(17:45)**

Anyway **(17:45)**

Things look like I’m about to become the only single person in my friend group **(17:46)**

**(17:46)** Yikes

**(17:46)** I’m sorry, Remus

**(17:47)** I at least have Peter who’s single too

That’s okay **(17:47)**

I don’t mind being single **(17:47)**

The only thing is that with all my friends in relationships they’ll bug me to get in one myself even more than they already do **(17:48)**

**(17:48)** They do that?

Yep **(17:48)**

Every fucking time I mention a boy who’s not Frank or Caradoc **(17:49)**

**(17:49)** Caradoc?

**(17:50)** You never mentioned him

He’s an ex of sorts **(17:50)**

**(17:50)** Of sorts?

He was in denial about liking boys. So we had this secret ‘thing’ going on. It wasn’t a proper relationship, but I liked him and it lasted for months **(17:51)**

This one day he just showed up dating this girl. We never had any kind of ‘closure’, we just never talked again afterwards **(17:52)**

**(17:52)** Shit that’s fucked up

**(17:53)** I’m so sorry, Moony

I felt really bad and used for a while, but Ali, Dorc and Frank helped me get through it **(17:53)**

It was over a year ago, though, I’m perfectly fine now, so don’t worry **(17:54)**

**(17:54)** You sure? I could beat this bloke up for you

Hahaha **(17:55)**

As much as I appreciate the offer, your beating up services won’t be necessary **(17:55)**

**(17:56)** Well, just know you can require my beating up services whenever you’d like

I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you **(17:56)**

**(17:56)** Anytime ;)

But now, going back to your thing a little bit **(17:57)**

There’s nothing wrong with you **(17:57)**

**(17:59)** How did you know that’s what I was thinking?

Guess I’m getting to know you well **(17:59)**

But I really mean it. **(17:59)**

Just live your life and do your thing, Sirius **(18:00)**

There’s no formula to it **(18:00)**

**(18:00)** I-

**(18:01)** Thanks, Moony

It’s nothing **(18:01)**

**(18:02)** How do you do it?

What? **(18:02)**

**(18:03)** You always know what to say. You always manage to help me. You’re so wise

**(18:04)** You really are a wizard, aren’t you?

Hahaha no I’m not **(18:04)**

It’s nothing much, really **(18:04)**

Plus, you help me too **(18:05)**

**(18:05)** How so?

Just **(18:06)**

By being you **(18:06)**

I like having you in my life, Padfoot **(18:07)**

**(18:07)** I-

**(18:07)** I like having you in my life too, Moony

**(18:08)** A lot

:) **(18:08)**

**(18:08)** :)

**(18:09)** Thanks

**(18:09)** For everything

Anytime ;) **(18:09)**

-

** Sirius’s Phone **

****

**Prongsie**

Jamie **(22:38)**

You up? **(22:38)**

**(22:38)** Yeah

**(22:39)** What’s up?

I’m ready **(22:40)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID I JUST MAKE A CLIFFHANGER?  
> Actually, I really don't know. I'm not quite sure if this ending constitutes as a cliffhanger aushaush
> 
> Also, I fucking love She-ra.  
> If a girl ever walks up to me and says "Hey Adora", I will giggle. 100%  
> But that's all, cuz I have a boyfriend whom I love very much
> 
> Anyway,  
> Things are getting interesting, and worlds are starting to collide...


	11. Games, Parties and Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished writting this chapter this morning, but I had to do two group projects today. My friends makes things more fun, because we talk a lot of nonsense while doing work, but I'm tired anyway. I don't want to think about Freud, Vygotsky or Piaget for a while. Anyway, my point is: the chapter might have been ready, but I only had time to post it now, sorry. And the reason I'm saying all this is that I just wanted to let it out hahaha
> 
> Also, back at chapter 9 lots of you commented about the time thing, and apparently lots of other places around the world use the 24 hour clock, and I had no idea! I thought it was so cool!
> 
> Anyway, here's the chapter, hope you like it!

** Saturday **

** Sirius’s Phone **

****

**Prongsie**

**(22:40)** Pete’s asleep. Wanna go to the common room so that we can talk?

No, I- **(22:40)**

I think it’ll be easier through text **(22:41)**

**(22:41)** Whatever works for you, mate

**(22:42)** Whenever you’re ready

**(22:44)** Sirius, we’re still in the same room, I can see you typing and erasing everything hundreds of times

It’s ridiculous! I know him for, what, a week? **(22:45)**

**(22:45)** Lily and I have been friends for, what, a week?

It’s hardly the same thing. You already knew each other for years **(22:45)**

I barely know him! **(22:46)**

I’ve literally just learnt his name **(22:46)**

And I don’t even know his last name **(22:46)**

Damn it, I don’t even know what he looks like! **(22:47)**

**(22:47)** But?

But **(22:47)**

I feel things. When I talk to him **(22:48)**

He’s just **(22:48)**

Argh **(22:48)**

I feel ridiculous **(22:49)**

**(22:49)** Mate, remember it’s me you’re talking to

**(22:49)** You’ve heard my pining for Lily for YEARS, I’m hardly one to judge

It’s like he gets me **(22:50)**

Even if he barely knows me himself **(22:50)**

**(22:50)** Are you saying it’s meant to be?

James. I’m not that sappy **(22:50)**

But, I mean **(22:51)**

It all started with me being bored and texting a random number. He was bored too, saw that text, and actually engaged with that **(22:52)**

**(22:52)** So what you’re saying is…

**(22:52)** Meant to be?

I’m not saying yes to that **(22:53)**

**(22:53)** Suit yourself

But, like, what if it’s not all that and I’m idealizing him based on limited interactions? **(22:54)**

**(22:55)** Look, mate. All your concerns seem to be revolving around the fact that you barely know each other. So just, like, get to know him? You like talking to him? Keep doing that. People have to start somewhere. And eventually, if you figure you actually do like him, idk, flirt with him and see if he flirts back

That **(22:56)**

Sounds like a solid plan **(22:57)**

**(22:57)** Thanks, I know

How can you be like that but still have been rejected by Lily for years? **(22:58)**

**(22:58)** Hey! It worked out eventually, didn’t it?

Yeah, because of Moony **(22:58)**

**(22:58)** Because I got over my shit

**(22:59)** Yeah, Moony helped a little with that

A lot **(22:59)**

**(22:59)** A lot

**(23:00)** But everything regarding actually interacting with Lily I did myself

Okay, you got a point **(23:00)**

**(23:00)** Yes, I do.

**(23:01)** Now

**(23:01)** Are you feeling better?

Yeah **(23:01)**

Yes, I am **(23:02)**

**(23:02)** Good

**(23:02)** And if you ever need to talk again, I’m here

I know **(23:03)**

Thanks, mate **(23:03)**

**(23:03)** Anytime

**(23:04)** Now go get a good nights sleep. Big game tomorrow

Aye, captain! **(23:04)**

**-**

** Sunday **

****

**Moony**

GO LIONS!!! **(08:41)**

**(08:42)** Padfoot, it’s Sunday morning. This is not the time for capitols and exclamations

Sorry **(08:42)**

*whispering* go lions. **(08:43)**

**(08:43)** You’re ridiculous.

**(08:44)** Why are you even up so early?

Got a match today! **(08:44)**

**(08:44)** Oh

**(08:45)** Basketball, right?

Yep **(08:45)**

Also, you’re complaining about being early, but you’re up! **(08:46)**

**(08:47)** I wasn’t until your text woke me up

Well, rise and shine, Moonbeam! **(08:47)**

I’ve got a big game today and I need your good vibrations to be rooting for me to win this one for the Lions! **(08:48)**

**(08:48)** Lions. Your school’s mascot?

My house’s mascot **(08:48)**

**(08:49)** You compete between the houses?

Yep **(08:** 49 **)**

**(08:49)** And each house has a mascot?

Yep **(08:49)**

**(08:50)** Who are you playing against?

Ravenclaw. Eagles **(08:50)**

**(08:51)** And what are the other ones?

Snakes for Slytherin and Badgers for Hufflepuff **(08:51)**

**(08:51)** Badgers? Of all the animals?

You’re gonna have to ask that to Helga Hufflepuff **(08:52)**

**(08:52)**?

The founder of the Hufflepuff house **(08:52)**

**(08:52)** Right

**(08:53)** Your fancy ass boarding school gets more overwhelming every time I ask about it

You’ll get used to it **(08:53)**

Anyway, we’re heading to breakfast. Game’s at 10, come wish me luck before that! **(08:54)**

**(08:54)** If I’m awake

You better be. **(08:54)**

Actually, wish us luck in the gc. Wormy is on the team too and Prongs is captain **(08:55)**

**(08:55)** Okay, I’ll set an alarm

-

**The Four Marauders**

**(09:50) Moony:** Hey, lads! Good luck at the match today!

**(09:51) Wormtail:** Cheers, mate!

Thanks, Moony! **(09:51)**

**(09:52) Prongs:** We don’t need luck, we’re gonna CRUSH them!

**(09:52) Prongs:** But yes, cheers, mate!

**(09:53) Prongs:** Now, Peter, Sirius, drop your phones and get your ARSES to the court!

**(09:54) Wormtail:** Aye!

-

**Moony**

:) **(09:52)**

**(09:53)** Go crush them!

Will do! **(09:53)**

\---

WE WON!!! WE FUCKING WON!!!!! **(11:12)**

I mean, no surprises there, cuz James’s a great captain and our team is awesome, BUT WINNING ALWAYS FEELS SO GOOD **(11:13)**

And, of course, the party we’re gonna throw at the common room later **(11:14)**

**(11:16)** Congratulations, Pads!

**(11:16)** I’m sure it feels great :)

You don’t play anything? **(11:17)**

**(11:17)** Nah

Not a sports guy? **(11:17)**

**(11:17)** Not really

**(11:18)** Well, we sometimes throw just dance tournaments at Alice’s, does that count?

It so does!! You dance??? **(11:18)**

**(11:19)** I mean, Alice and Dorcas win most of them, but I guess I’ve won one or too?

**(11:20)** It’s hardly a sports competition, though. We do it mostly for the fun and mess around most of the time. Especially Frank, he’s very uncoordinated but he always has the time of his life. Alice finds it endearing

I still think that’s awesome **(11:20)**

Are you having one anytime soon? **(11:21)**

**(11:21)** We’re actually planning one for next Saturday

Great! I’ll wish you good luck then! **(11:21)**

**(11:22)** Hah

**(11:22)** Thanks, Padfoot

;) **(11:22)**

Anyway, I’m exhausted. I’m gonna go shower and grab some lunch **(11:23)**

Catch up with you later? **(11:23)**

**(11:24)** Sure. Later!

Later, Moony! **(11:24)**

\---

Moooionnyyyyy **(20:56)**

Mooby! **(20:56)**

Get youys arse herre! **(20:56)**

Miiny **(20:57)**

Remu **(20:57)**

Mooyflowr **(20:57)**

**(20:57)** Jesus, Sirius, calm down!

**(20:57)** Also, are you drunk?

MNOOONNYYTY **(20:57)**

Im not drnk, your drunk! **(20:58)**

**(20:58)** You’re*

Ok ay I might be a liitle ddunk **(20:59)**

**(20:59)** You don’t say

Idont like yor tone, mistr! **(21:00)**

Whats yur favrite color??? **(21:00)**

**(21:00)** Drunk you wants to know my favorite color?

YESSSS **(21:01)**

**(21:01)** Gee

I dont knw the colr gee is it preeety?? **(21:01)**

**(21:02)** That’s not-

**(21:02)** My favorite color is forest green

Boo **(21:02)**

Green is slithyrin colur **(21:03)**

I like GOLD its so SHINNNY **(21:04)**

Slythurn* **(21:04)**

Slthernin* **(21:04)**

Fuck stupid worrd **(21:04)**

**(21:04)** Slytherin?

Yeh still stupd **(21:05)**

Do you hav any petss??? **(21:06)**

**(21:06)** Drunk you is very curious hahaha

**(21:07)** Not currently. I had a cat when I was a kid, though

Wha twas its namme?? **(21:07)**

**(21:07)** Mr Pudding

Thats so cuute **(21:08)**

Youre cutee **(21:09)**

**(21:10)** Are you at your victory party?

YEEES **(21:10)**

WE SMASSHED THE EAGELS **(21:11)**

GO LIONNS **(21:11)**

**(21:12)** Good for you, Padfoot!

**(21:12)** Now go party with your fellow lions!

I WILLL **(21:12)**

**-**

** Remus’s Phone **

****

**Alice**

SOS **(21:13)**

**(21:13)** What’s up?

He’s drunk and he called me cute **(21:14)**

**(21:14)** And you’re panicking?

A little bit, yeah **(21:14)**

**(21:14)** So you admit it?

Alice, this is not the time! **(21:15)**

**(21:15)** Admit it.

*sigh* **(21:15)**

I admit it **(21:16)**

**(21:16)** About time

**(21:17)** So

**(21:17)** You fancy a boy and he called you cute

**(21:18)** I’m trying very hard to see the issue here

He’s drunk **(21:18)**

**(21:18)** So? People don’t say anything drunk that they don’t already think when they’re sober

Still **(21:19)**

**(21:19)** Okay, so he called you cute. What did you say?

Nothing, I deflected. Which wasn’t hard at all, considering he’s drunk **(21:20)**

**(21:20)** Of course you deflected *face palm*

What was I supposed to do??? **(21:20)**

**(21:21)** Idk, maybe GO FOR IT???

Sure, cuz it’s easy like that **(21:21)**

**(21:21)** It is

It isn’t **(21:21)**

We barely know each other, I could scare him. Plus, he has JUST figured he’s bi **(21:22)**

**(21:22)** Rem

**(21:22)** He’s not Caradoc

I know **(21:23)**

**(21:23)** And it’s not like you’re in love with him or something, right?

No **(21:24)**

**(21:24)** So it’s just some harmless flirting!

**(21:25)** Next time he does it, I say go for it!

If he does it sober, maybe **(21:25)**

**(21:25)** He will

You don’t know that **(21:25)**

**(21:26)** I do. He might have been drunk, but he did open a door

What if he closes it when he’s sober? **(21:26)**

**(21:26)** Then open it yourself

And what? Call him cute out of nowhere? Are you crazy?? **(21:27)**

**(21:27)** Remus, what’s this panicking really about?

... **(21:28)**

He doesn’t even know what I look like **(21:28)**

**(21:28)** Rem, stop being insecure

**(21:29)** You don’t know what he looks like either. Did it matter?

…no **(21:30)**

**(21:30)** There you go!

**(21:30)** Can you calm down, now?

Yeah, I guess I can **(21:31)**

**(21:31)** Good.

**(21:32)** But, anything you need, you know I’m here, right?

I know. Thanks, Alice **(21:32)**

**(21:32)** No problem, sweetie

**(21:33)** Now go get Lover Boy!

Fuck you **(21:33)**

**(21:33)** Great, he’s back!

-

**Padfoot**

**(23:29)** HEEYYYYY

**(23:29)** MOONYYYY

**(23:30)** GOOD NIGHTTT

Haha **(23:30)**

Good night, Padfoot! **(23:31)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Na verdade eu queria chamar o gato de Deboche, porque esse é o nome que eu daria pro meu gato se eu tivesse um, mas eu não conheço nenhuma palavra em inglês que seja digna o suficiente de transmitir a mesma vibe que uma das minhas palavras favoritas da língua portuguesa, então ficou Sr Pudim mesmo.
> 
> Sorry for writting things in Portuguese, I was just talking about a word that I love but really don't know how to translate lol
> 
> Also, purposefully writting things wrong to represent someone's drunkness is hard. Especially because word kept AUTOCORRECTING WHAT I WAS MISSPELING ON PURPOSE. Ahem- I'm okay. Just kinda tired. And my head hurts. But I'm fine!


	12. Operation Pumpkin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I did something!
> 
> A while ago I saw this girl on TikTok who did a chart of wolfstar fic recs. I liked the idea and decided to do my own, and thought I could share it with you :)  
> The great majority of them are wolfstar, maybe 5 aren't. And only 2 of them are in Portuguese, the rest is in English.  
> Anyway, here's the link:  
> https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1gf0ArychCIulnqz_RiHGQ-cBz4wbRM1ZGy7ZidKnDCM/edit?usp=sharing
> 
> And now the chapter! Hope you like it!

** Monday **

** Remus’s Phone **

****

**Padfoot**

**(06:08)** _[incoming call]_

_[call accepted]_

\---

“Why.”

_“Good morning, Moony!”_

“Sirius. What the actual fuck.”

_“You know, this is the first time I get to hear your voice and I do not like your tone, mister.”_

“You woke me up at six in the morning, what were you fucking expecting, a party committee??”

_“Well, rise and shine, Moonbeam!”_

“This ‘rise and shine, Moonbeam’ is becoming a thing. I don’t like it.”

_“Moony, you wound me.”_

“How are you even up, weren’t you at a party and drinking yesterday?”

_“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m completely hangover, but-“_

“OH, ARE YOU NOW?!”

_“…”_

“…”

_“Okay, your shouting has drilled holes into my skull, but I guess that was well deserved.”_

“You guess? Also, do I hear laughing?”

_“Oh yeah, Prongs and Wormtail are here too. Say hi to Moony! (Hi, Moony!) (Hey, mate!) Anyway, sorry to wake you up so early, but we probably had way less sleep than you did and we’re up, that’s how committed we are.”_

“Committed to what? And what do I have to do with it? Why am I awake??”

_“The prank, Remus! You’re part of this!”_

“I didn’t know being woken up at six in the morning was part of the prank business when I chose to take part in it”

_“Well, it was in the terms of agreements, your fault for checking the box without reading it.”_

“Blimey. Anyway, what are you doing?”

_“We’re heading to the lake so that we can divert the irrigation system in order to flood the Slytherin’s dorms.”_

“And why so early?”

_“It has to be done now because, by the time the water reaches the dorms, everyone will be at breakfast. That way things can be flooded enough for it to be necessary to send the clothes to the laundries by the time somebody notices anything.”_

“Got it. And you called me because…?”

_“Well, I called you so you could feel included! Since you can’t be here in person.”_

“As much as I appreciate your concerns towards my inclusion, couldn’t you have done it and then texted me about it? I swear I would be there in spirit if I was sleeping right now.”

_“Oh, Moonymine, but how would we survive without your sarcastic comments?”_

“It would be hard, but I’m sure you would be doing just fine.”

_“You’re a marauder now, that’s what you signed up for!”_

“Is there any turning back possibilities?”

_“No turning back. And I’m offended you even asked. Anyway, we’re here. Prongs is dealing with the irrigation system and Wormtail is on watch.”_

“And what are you doing?”

_“Keeping you informed, of course! (Come help, you tosser!)”_

“Yeah, judging by the yelling you’re being so useful.”

_“For you to see that my efforts are never enough for Mr Prongs! Here, stay with Wormy while I do some action. (Wait, wha-) Hum, Moony? Hi, Wormtail here.”_

“Hi, Wormtail.”

_“Sorry Padfoot woke you up so early. He woke me up too. At least you’re not unlucky enough to share a dorm with him. I was hangover and he literally threw me out of my bed.”_

“Ouch. Well, punch him for the both of us, would you?”

_“Haha, will do. He bloody well deserves it. He was so annoying yesterday. He already doesn’t shut up about you sober, but then he started drinking and it was- OUCH (Gimme that back, you wanker!) Hey, Moony, I’m back. Wormtail is grounded. And phase one of Operation Pumpkin is completed, we’ll now go back to our dorm and then head to breakfast with everybody else like nothing happened.”_

“You sure you won’t get in trouble for flooding dorms?”

_“I told you, Moony, we do this every year. They always think is some kind of malfunction, we’ll be fine!”_

“Well, if you’re sure. Am I dismissed, then? I’d like to sleep a little more before my alarm wakes me up again.”

_“Yes, you’re dismissed. For now. Be ready for another phone call later tonight for when we’re sneaking into the laundries.”_

“Will be. Bye, Sirius.”

_“No, you can’t call me by my name! We’re in the middle of a mission, you need to use our marauders names!”_

“Yeah haha of course. Bye, Padfoot!”

_“Bye, Moony!”_

_[Call ended]_

_\---_

**(07:11)** We’re at breakfast. Watching the Slytherins arrive having no idea what’s gonna go down is always priceless!

Doesn’t anyone get suspicious with the fact that it happens every year? **(07:15)**

 **(07:16)** Pissed off, maybe. More every year. Suspicious? Not really

Isn’t the irrigation system investigated or something? **(07:16)**

 **(07:17)** Oh, it is. They always think it’s some lack of maintenance or something like that

 **(07:17)** This school is really some very big very old building. You know, the kind a 17th century basic ghost would hunt. You can blame lots of thing on ‘malfunction’

 **(07:18)** IT’S HAPPENING Filch is running towards Dumbledore!

Lots of weird names there, Padfoot **(07:18)**

 **(07:18)** Filch is the school’s janitor and Dumbledore is the Principal

 **(07:19)** Now Dumbledore is talking to Slughorn, he’s the head of the Slytherin house

 **(07:20)** Yep! He definitely has the ‘I’m gonna have to tell this kids with rich parents that their things have been flooded again’ look of desperation in his face!

Isn’t there a risk of this ‘rich parents’ wanting to sue the school for this or something? **(07:20)**

 **(07:21)** What’s life without some risk!

Sirius! That’s some severe shit! **(07:21)**

 **(07:21)** I’m just kidding, Remus

 **(07:22)** Of course we did our research when we decided to make this an annual thing. The parents only have a case if real damage is done or someone is harmed. That’s why we do it at 6 in the morning, because no one is gonna be there when the water comes. And the school makes up for the inconvenience by washing all the clothes free of charge and cleaning the dorms

 **(07:23)** So it’s all mainly an annoying inconvenience for the slytherins, but not much more than that

It’s **(07:23)**

Good to know you thought this through **(07:24)**

 **(07:24)** Of course, Moony. We might seem reckless, but we always think things through

 **(07:24)** We’re not amateurs.

Well, I apologize for all the times I called you that before I knew any better **(07:25)**

 **(07:25)** You finally got it ;)

 **(07:26)** Anyway, gotta head to class now. Ttyl

Ttyl **(07:26)**

\---

 **(10:32)** So

 **(10:33)** I scrolled back to our conversation from last night

Oh, you mean when you drunk texted me? **(10:37)**

 **(10:38)** Yeah

 **(10:38)** I feel ashamed

Don’t be, it’s okay **(10:39)**

 **(10:39)** Really?

Yeah, I thought it was hilarious! **(10:40)**

 **(10:40)** Har har, of course you did, smartarse

Are you actually able to disagree? **(10:41)**

 **(10:41)** …no

 **(10:41)** Anyway

 **(10:42)** Did you really name a cat ‘Mr Pudding’?

Yes **(10:42)**

 **(10:43)** Okay, /that’s/ hilarious

Excuse me **(10:43)**

If I remember correctly, and, since I wasn’t the drunk one, I do, yesterday you thought it was cute **(10:44)**

 **(10:44)** Oh, don’t get me wrong

 **(10:45)** Little you with little Mr Pudding? That looks very adorable

 **(10:45)** But

 **(10:45)** Mr Pudding is still a funny name

Adorable? **(10:46)**

I was a 7 year-old who would try to hug his cat and get lots of scratches because Mr Pudding didn’t like it at all **(10:46)**

That’s not adorable **(10:46)**

 **(10:47)** Little you trying to hug Mr Pudding? Even more adorable

I’ve actually got a light scar on my cheek because of that cat. Not adorable. **(10:47)**

 **(10:48)** It’s an adorable scar, I’m sure.

You’re just making fun of me at this point **(10:49)**

 **(10:49)** Maybe a little

 **(10:50)** But there’s some truth in it

Yeah, right **(10:51)**

 **(10:52)** You’re always the one who’s making fun of me, we gotta switch things up sometimes

In my defense, it’s very easy to make fun of the boy who likes GOLD cuz it’ so SHINNNY **(10:53)**

 **(10:53)** I might have been drunk

 **(10:53)** But I actually stand by that, gold is a beautiful color

 **(10:54)** And my less-pretentious favorite color is red

And I’m guessing those aren’t Slytherin colors? **(10:55)**

 **(10:55)** God no, I’ve got better taste than that

 **(10:55)** Those are actually the Gryffindor colors

Your favorite colors are your house’s color and you think that’s not pretentious? **(10:56)**

 **(10:56)** Sorry I like my house

 **(10:57)** And it’s a good thing I like those colors, considering I have to wear them on a tie every day

I’m sorry did you just say you have TO WEAR A TIE??? **(10:57)**

 **(10:58)** I’ve just given you more ammunition to make fun of me, didn’t I?

Yes. **(10:58)**

 **(10:58)** Oh well

 **(10:58)** I’m used to it by now

 **(10:59)** Yes, I need to wear a tie as uniform. Nothing you wouldn’t expect from a ‘fancy ass boarding school’

Oh my god, you’re such a posh boy **(10:59)**

 **(11:00)** Hey! Don’t let the tie mislead you, I’m totally punk rock!

What, do you loosen your tie more than it’s allowed? **(11:00)**

 **(11:01)** …sort of

Oh god! What else? You paint your nails black? Have long hair? Maybe an earring? **(11:01)**

 **(11:02)** …

 **(11:02)** I feel very called out right now

YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT I’M RIGHT??? **(11:03)**

Is your outfit for the weekend a leather jacket and some big threatening boots? **(11:04)**

 **(11:04)** I don’t like this game anymore

Oh my- DO YOU TIE YOUR HAIR ON A BUN TO PLAY BASKETBALL?? **(11:05)**

 **(11:05)** OKAY, THAT’S QUITE ENOUGH

You do, don’t you? **(11:06)**

 **(11:06)** …yes

 **(11:06)** Otherwise it gets all over my face, and that’s annoying!

That’s adorable. **(11:07)**

 **(11:07)** Touché

 **(11:08)** Alright Mister Remus Last-Name, you already know my aesthetic, let’s hear about yours then

My aesthetic? Like, my appearance and what I usually wear? **(11:08)**

 **(11:08)** Precisely

Oh well, teacher is looking, gotta put my phone down. What a bummer! **(11:09)**

 **(11:09)** REMUS

 **(11:09)** YOU’RE NOT GETTING AWAY LIKE THAT

 **(11:10)** Fine, have it your way.

 **(11:11)** I’m still calling you tonight, though

-

**Alice**

I did it **(11:07)**

 **(11:07)** Did what?

I called him adorable **(11:08)**

 **(11:08)** Remus you flirt!

But I did do it in a way it could be interpreted as a joke, though **(11:09)**

 **(11:09)** *sigh*

 **(11:10)** Well, at least that’s a start

-

**Padfoot**

**(12:08)** It’s lunch time and, judging by the look on the Slytherins’s faces, Slughorn already told them they’ll be sleeping at the gym tonight. This is beautiful!

Not a good day to be a Slytherin **(12:09)**

 **(12:09)** It’s never a good day to be a Slytherin

 **(12:10)** And just you wait till tomorrow!

I hardly think that wearing clothes that smell like pumpkin is worse than having to sleep at a gym **(12:10)**

 **(12:11)** Oh, we might have gone a little extra

Tell me about it??? **(12:11)**

 **(12:11)** Tomorrow. It’s a surprise.

Okay, then… **(12:12)**

**\---**

**(23:04)** _[Incoming call from Padfoot]_

_[Call accepted]_

_\---_

“Hello, Mister Man Bun!”

_“Alright, if you’re not letting this go, then neither am I. At least give me something! What’s you’re equivalent to a leather jacket?”_

“Hum… okay. A sweater? Maybe sometimes a cardigan?”

“…”

“…”

_“You’re a total nerd, aren’t you?”_

“Are you honestly surprised?”

“ _Not really, but… I mean, a CARDIGAN? (Padfoot, keep it down!) Oh, right, sorry.”_

“Where are you guys, now?”

_“We’re currently caring a bunch of pumpkin scent through the secret passage that leads to the basement, where the laundries are. Prongs and Wormtail are complaining that I’m caring the least of it, but I only have one free hand, I gotta hold a phone with the other! (Fuck you!)”_

“Wait, I’m sorry, did you say secret passage?”

_“Yeah, it’s a set of staircases hidden behind a tapestry, it goes straight underground .”_

“And you know about that how?”

_“We told you we made a map of the school. We know every bit of this castle.”_

“That doesn’t answer my quest- I’m sorry, did you just say CASTLE?”

_“Oh, yeah. I told you this building was old. Used to be a castle. I’m pretty sure the basement used to be the dungeons or something like that.”_

“…”

_“…”_

“You know what I’m gonna say, right?”

_“That my ‘fancy ass boarding school’ gets more overwhelming every time you ask about it? Yeah, I know. Anyway, we’re here. (Coast is clear, we can go!)”_

“Okay, what now?”

_“We’re putting the scent in the place of soap. And Moony, I gotta tell you, this scent is strong. The bigots’ clothes will be smelling like pumpkin for weeks. It’s perfect! (Padfoot, where’s the dye?) Oh, here.”_

“Dye?”

_“Shit, you shouldn’t have heard that. Way to go, Prongs! (Sorry, mate!)”_

“Is that the surprise?”

_“It’s… half of it. Anyway, you already know about the ties. The rest of the uniform is a white shirt and black blazer with your house’s symbol. So we’re dyeing their shirts orange, cuz Slytherin ties are green and silver. Green! And orange! Like a pumpkin! It was too perfect not to do it!”_

“I could try to argue why that could be a bad idea, but then I remember what that jerk Snape did to lily, so… sure, go for it!”

_“That’s the spirit, Moony! (I’m done, what about you lads?) (Almost, give me a hand, Pads!) Coming! Moony, I’m leaving you with Prongs now.”_

“Oh, okay.”

_“(Behave, Prongs!) Hi, mate! I was the only one who didn’t talk to you today, I was feeling left out!”_

“That’s ironic considering Pads woke me up at six in the morning today claiming he was worried about inclusion.”

_“Oh yeah, he’s a tosser like that. But he’s also a very funny guy. Did he tell you about the time we were at a park and he got attacked by pigeons because he forgot he had biscuits in his pockets? (Oi!)”_

“He most certainly didn’t hahahah”

_“Yeah, lil’ baby Siri has nightmares with pigeons till this day. (THAT’S ENOUGH, gimme the phone, you wanker!) Hi, Moony. Ignore Prongs, he’s grounded too.”_

“Sure. Do you really dream about pigeons, though?”

_“Ignore that too.”_

“If I ‘coo’ in your ear, will you get scared?”

_“I fucking hate you.”_

“No, you don’t.”

_“Yes, I do. (No, he doesn’t.) Shut up, Prongs!”_

“Prongs says you don’t, it’s two against one.”

_“Yeah, I hate all of you, teaming up against me. (You love us!) Shut up! Anyway, phase two of Operation Pumpkin is completed. We’re going back to our dorm and getting some sleep. Talk to you tomorrow?”_

“I don’t know, I though you hated me.”

_“I could never hate you, Moony.”_

“O-oh.”

_“I’ll text you tomorrow to tell you how things go down. Make sure you’re awake by seven if you don’t wanna be woken up. Good night, Moony!”_

“G-good night, Padfoot.”

_“I made you blush, didn’t I?”_

“Fuck you!”

_“Hah I totally did!”_

“I hope you dream of pigeons tonight.”

_“If you’re there to save me, my knight in shining armor, maybe. (What?)”_

“S-shut up!”

_“Haha, I’m on fire tonight!”_

“Good night, Padfoot!”

_“Good night, Moony!”_

_[Call ended]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits to CosmicCaiti for the idea of dyeing the shirts orange. I thought it was to good not to include it in the story hahaha hope you don't mind!
> 
> Also, phone calls!


End file.
